Category: burgers

  • A birthday burger trifecta: Il Bracco (solid), Twisted Turban (really fun), and Pincho (no)

    A birthday burger trifecta: Il Bracco (solid), Twisted Turban (really fun), and Pincho (no)

    Monday, February 24, 2025 — Being the insatiable beef animal that I am, with my birthday on a Friday this year—effectively resulting in a full-on weekend-long birthday celebration—I couldn’t resist the opportunity to knock multiple spots off of my to-do list.

    First up, I chose Il Bracco for my birthday lunch burger. Careful readers know I favor burger specialty joints, but my interest was piqued on the heels of Eater’s most recent list of its “Best Burgers in Houston right now” (updated January 2, 2025), which made a point to mention this Galleria-area Italian restaurant’s hamburger in its sister restaurant Balboa Surf Club’s blurb. 

    With Balboa being the one of the two that actually made the list, I had a tough decision to make, but Il Bracco’s topping combination of Calabrian chilies, aged provolone, arugula, fennel, and red onion sounded too good to pass up. Let’s be real, Il Bracco had me at Calabrian chilies. Il Bracco also had a slight edge in the ratings (4.4 to Balboa’s 4.2 on Yelp), so that also helped seal the decision.

    Il Bracco itself is a winning place for a meal; the interior decor is cozy and elegant, but not too stuffy—it felt like a great sue of the former California Pizza Kitchen space. As for the burger — it’s definitely a flavorful retardant burger, with the Calabrian chiles providing a pleasant heat to a very juicy and flavorful patty. The burger is on the tinier side, and in some regards could almost be seen as a slider or appetizer. That’s not a knock on the actual burger itself, though I don’t know that it exactly seared itself in my memory. 

    However, I’m glad that my warm-up burger wasn’t one of my typically enormous offerings, as I knew I had a classic Larry hedonistically consumptive experience awaiting me at my second burger of the day for my birthday dinner.

    Sure enough, my selection for birthday burger #2 was about as diametrically opposed an experience from Il Bracco as you could probably get: Twisted Turban (2838 S Texas 6 B, Houston, TX 77082), which is on south Highway 6 just past Westheimer. 

    As if Twisted Turban’s (which, at 4.5 on Yelp and 4.6 on Google make it the 21st-highest-rated overall hamburger place in Houston, and 8th-highest-rated in the Restaurant with a Notable Burger category) food photos weren’t right in my wheelhouse as it is, their descriptions are also mouth-watering. 

    Me being the savage that I am, I had to go with their Diablo Burger—which is comprised of a Serrano-stuffed patty topped with sauteed onions, pickles, jalapeños, jalapeño pepper jack cheese, jalapeño chips, their Diablo sauce, and a jalapeño popper—and of course added a second patty plus bacon and egg.

    Talk about hedonistically consumptive. This wonderfully seasoned delicious grass-fed Halal ode to beefy excess absolutely screams “Larry Burger” at anyone who will listen, and was a most worthy selection for my birthday dinner burger. 

    We also went with the Loaded Tots as our side, which was a bit inconsistent but interesting in its own right, sitting on a bed of queso . All in all, this was a delightful experience, and I’m surprised that Twisted Turban is “only” ranked at 4.5/4.6 (of course; these are exceptional grades in their own right, with nearly 400 reviewers on Yelp and almost 1,000 on Google — I think I was just slightly surprised to not see them at the very top with the best of the best).

    Lastly, for birthday burger #3 (don’t worry, this one wasn’t also consumed in the same day—spaced this one out for Sunday evening), we landed on PINCHO (2710 W Grand Pkwy N Suite 100, Katy, TX 77449). This Miami-based mini-chain (six locations in Florida and 4 in the Greater Houston area) has a TON of options on its menu, from burgers to kebabs, bowls, salads, plates, chicken sandwiches, and hot dogs.

    I opted for the Black Magic Truffle Burger, consisting of a 100% fresh angus beef patty and topped with swiss cheese, sautéed mushrooms, grilled onions, and black garlic truffle aioli. I added a second patty, fried egg, and applewood smoked bacon—though much to my chagrin, there isn’t a jalapeño in sight on the menu.

    Unfortunately the burger was overcooked and completely devoid of flavor. and it wasn’t just me — the six adults at the table all thought their burgers were mediocre. Mushroom and Swiss isn’t a combo I go for too often, but I was really intrigued by the truffle sauce. Sadly, none of it tasted like anything.

    I always feel bad slamming a place, but PINCHO was a tremendously underwhelming experience overall. 4.0 on Yelp and 4.5 on Google are generous, and I’m not sure you could do worse in a pinch.

    Here were my final ratings:

    Il Bracco: 3.75

    Twisted Turban: 4.50

    PINCHO: 2.00

  • M & M Hamburger fails to “meat” expectations

    M & M Hamburger fails to “meat” expectations

    Friday, February 14, 2025 — When I originally compiled my massive compendium of every burger place conceivable in the greater Houston area alongside their Yelp and Google ratings, there were two establishments with very similar names that both had high ratings: M & M Hamburger (210 Wayside Dr), and the former M & M Grill (6921 Almeda Rd). Even more confusingly, they were both located in parts of town I don’t often traverse.

    Thankfully, the latter opted to rebrand to the far more Google-friendly Loaded Burger, and readers may recall I checked it off the list last fall (and enjoyed it!).

    As I surveyed the Hamburger Joint category for my next Friday Burger Adventure, I discovered that M & M Hamburger was the highest rated I hadn’t yet tried (4.6 on both Yelp and Google), and so it was finally time to give it a go. Unfortunately, this was the first local burger expedition in a minute that failed to live up to expectations.

    For starters, the menu is seriously confusing and there are a lot of options. The three that struck my fancy were the Bacon Cheeseburger, Double Cheeseburger, and Crazy Burger, though the descriptions were all virtually identical, and so it wasn’t clear what the differentiators were—especially with regards to what made the “Crazy Burger” deserving of that appellation.

    I opted for their double cheeseburger—which comes standard with cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayo, and added bacon and jalapeños. I’m sad to report that while the meat was substantive (no smashburgers here!) this was a rather dry affair and didn’t taste particularly well-seasoned to me. There was a sauce of some kind dripping from the sandwich, but because the descriptions were so minimal I have no idea what it was. Additionally, the toppings weren’t evenly spread out—I finally got a taste of jalapeño about 3/4 of the way through, but it was too little, too late.

    While this is more of a me problem than an M & M problem, it also didn’t help that it’s located close to 30 minutes east of Uptown. I’m not shy about driving far to experience greatness, but when the destination is a bit of a hike and also carries robust ratings, there’s an inherent assumption that it will be worth the ride.

    Despite my quibbles, I actually think M & M Hamburger probably does put out a fine burger sandwich. Appearance-wise it looked tasty. Maybe I went on an off day. This one’s a 3.5 for me.

  • Rainbow Lodge is a match made in Friday Burger Adventure heaven

    Rainbow Lodge is a match made in Friday Burger Adventure heaven

    (Alternative title: Taste the Rainbow of Meat Flavors)

    Friday, February 7, 2025 — Rainbow Lodge is a Houston institution with nearly 50 years of serving the city. I became aware of their mouth-watering burger when I first began compiling my ratings / to-do list over a year ago, and after the Houston Chronicle named it one of its Top 18 Burgers in Houston back in November, I knew I needed to finally give it a shot.

    In some regards it almost feels like this was put on a tee for me—a restaurant that only sells its burger during one meal service a week, on Fridays at lunchtime? A match made in heaven for a Friday Burger Adventure™️.

    The official name of the sandwich is Wild Game Burger Friday, where the star of the show is a delicious blend of elk, bison and ribeye. While anticipation was already high heading into the proceedings, I am delighted to say that Rainbow Lodge wildly exceeded my expectations. 

    For starters, I can’t say I’ve ever had a patty blend containing these three ingredients—a truly savory and exceptional meat-consuming experience. But that was only the start. The burger comes standard with a chef-inspired topping each week—today it was pimento and pepper jack cheese—and smoked creole mustard, lettuce, tomato, pickles, and onions. 

    What they don’t tell you on the menu is that you can add a slew of extra toppings, which for this burger-stacking obsessive absolutely made my day. A fried egg, bacon, and fresh jalapeños immediately entered the equation, and lo and behold, I found myself staring down a behemoth akin to the meat towers I make at home. 

    All of the components sang in perfect harmony, and the bun was generous enough to (mostly) keep everything together. Though as is my wont, several toppings did start falling out as we crossed the halfway mark. Even so, I was impressed with the integrity of the bun.

    I’ve been favoring spots that specifically specialize in just burgers during the majority of my Houston Burger Exploits, and so it’s been a minute since I ate at a regular establishment that also has a notable burger (that I was also wowed by), but I have to say—Rainbow Lodge’s Wild Game Burger Friday might be the best restaurant burger in town (as a reminder, I categorize my burger reviews in several buckets: Hamburger Joints, Smashburger Places, Restaurant with a Notable Burger, and Food Trucks).

    And thus, Houston’s burger scene continues to absolutely slay. It boggles the mind that we have a seemingly endless number of incredible options. I have no idea how Rainbow Lodge only has a 3.9 on Yelp—maybe the flavors of the components of the rest of the menu aren’t as endorphin-releasing as that burger?—but this was pretty easily a 4.75 for me.

  • Chunk’s Burger is a slam dunk

    Chunk’s Burger is a slam dunk

    Friday, January 31, 2025 — With dual 4.7s on both Yelp and Google—by my list, making it the 8th-highest-rated overall burger in Houston, and the 4th-highest-rated Hamburger Joint—Chunk’s Burger had been on my radar for some time, but being located in an area of town I seldom travel to (Stafford) kept me delaying the inevitable.

    Boy am I glad I finally made the effort. Chunk’s is another entry in what I would call the “no frills” category. Thankfully there are some quality customization options for the burgers themselves, but generally speaking what you see is what you get: from the no-nonsense exterior with the tiniest parking lot you’ve ever seen to a sparsely decorated cozy dining room, the experience of being physically inside of Chunk’s reminded me of Loaded Burger, Hippo Burgers, Old School Burger, and several others.

    But you’re not here for decor evaluations. On to the burger—I ordered the Double Bam Burger, which comes with two patties, bacon, cheese, grilled onions, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, mayo, mustard, and is served on a generously sized bun. And I of course added jalapeños, because spice is life.

    The name of the game at Chunk’s is juiciness! Right out of the gate upon unwrapping the sandwich, the entire concoction was dripping with juice! While Chunk’s doesn’t explicitly refer to its patties as smashed, I would almost call what they serve a hybrid — they weren’t quite as thin as a traditional smashburger, but they also weren’t enormous. In some regards they were the ideal size — with some smashburgers I still find myself famished even after a double, but this meat delivery vehicle did not need a third patty to slake my insatiable hunger for beef. The patties themselves were very flavorful and perfectly cooked, and the toppings all came to play — though the star of the show were the jalapeños; not sure the flavors would have come together for me in quite the same way without that extra kick.

    In some regards the visual composition of the sandwich felt like a bit of a throwback and reminded me of Champ‘s wonderful burger—if Champ did thinner patties and was covered in juice. I also ordered the loaded chili fries (and also added jalapeños) and thoroughly enjoyed them.

    Overall, Chunk’s delivered on the promise of ranking as Houston’s 4th-best hamburger, and I would strongly recommend all local burgerheads check this one off your list. For me, I’d give it a 4.5 out of 5.

  • Call the Hotline for some of the best smashburgers in town

    Call the Hotline for some of the best smashburgers in town

    Friday, December 13, 2025 — Hotline Burger is the brainchild of Phillip Kim, who rose to Houston culinary prominence with steamed bun food truck-turned-food stall Breaking Bao. I never had the opportunity to try Breaking Bao prior to its closing, but as the old saying goes, when one door closes, another opens—and thankfully for us burger obsessives, the door that opened for Philip led to the creation of one of Houston’s most extravagant beef experiences. For the record, Hotline is currently the fifth-highest-rated burger in all of Houston per my spreadsheet, with a best-in-class 4.8 on Yelp and an impressive 4.9. on Google.

    When I pulled up to Hotline’s unmistakable freestanding pink home at 8880 Bellaire Blvd (one of two local locations; the other is at 1585 Highway 6), I was greeted as warmly as could be by Phil (how he introduced himself). He mentioned being impressed by how I customized my burger (saying something to the effect of “I knew that was a pro order”), and so things were already off to a fantastic start.

    I ordered the Jalapeño Burger, which comes with two crispy 100% halal beef patties, ranch sauce, fresh jalapeños, swiss cheese and pickles. I added a third patty—because the only thing better than a double smashburger is a triple—jalapeño relish, grilled onions, and bacon. Phil asked me if I liked heat (as if I wasn’t already delighted enough by my experience) and gave me a container of the even-spicier version of Hotline’s sauce.

    Let me tell you—Phil’s take on the smashburger is outstandingly delicious, and almost belongs in its own category of excellence. The beef was seasoned and cooked to beyond perfection, and the amalgamation of toppings and methodical integration of meat and veggies elevated the experience to a savory and indulgent euphoric nirvana. Oh, and my primary complaint about smashburgers is that they always leave me hungry, but not so with Hotline—I was completely satiated. I know I keep saying “I prefer regular-sized patties over smashes,” but considering my #1 New Burger of 2024, Clutch City’s Clutch Burger, was a smash (not to mention smashes accounted for three of my top 7) I may need to rethink that position.

    I added the Smack Fries, which are drenched in Smack Sauce, grilled onions and American cheese, and they were the perfect complement to this hedonistic beef consumption experience.

    Honestly, had I consumed Hotline prior to publishing my year-end favorite burger list, it 100% would have made the roundup, and ranked quite highly—maybe even at #1.

    As it stands, Hotline has a most well-deserved spot on Eater’s The 22 Best Burgers in Houston Right Now, and I would be shocked if it doesn’t start popping up on numerous other top burger lists around town before long.

  • My Top Burgers of 2024

    My Top Burgers of 2024

    Saturday, November 30, 2024 — As a person who loves chronicling the things he’s obsessed with (I’ve been publishing “My Favorite Beers I Drank in a Given Year” lists for 13 straight years now), I’m delighted to present my latest roundup: My 2nd Annual Top Burgers in Houston rundown. 

    Those reading this blog know I’ve been on a mission to try as many new Houston-area burgers as I can in any given year, and I knocked quite a few off my to-do list in 2024. 

        (The hero image, as well as above, are both my homemade concoctions 😊)

    While the meat is of course the most important component during my evaluations, I also love smothering my burgers with an excessive amount of toppings, and with that in mind I tend to favor establishments that offer a wide range of customizable options, with the end result being as massive a sandwich is possible to the point where people question how I physically consume the darn thing.

    My criteria for these lists is that the burger has to be from an establishment I hadn’t previously visited prior to this year, enabling my burgers of the year list to be comprised of entirely new destinations (though I’ll add a Power Rankings list at the end, for those interested in my favorite overall spots).

    For posterity, last year’s list was as follows:

    5) Fusion Grill
    4) Bubba’s Texas Burger Shack
    3) Lankford Grocery
    2) Old School Burger
    1) burger-chan

    Without further adieu, here’s this year’s list of my favorite new burgers in Houston, expanded from 5 to a Top 7:

    My Top 7 Houston Burgers of 2024

    7) Burger Bodega: I was delighted to find that Burger Bodega exceeded my expectations, and delivered one of my most memorable consumption experiences of the year. I have gone on record numerous times stating that given my druthers I always prefer a normal-sized non-smashed patty, but then smashburgers keep showing up in my lists of favorites.

    6) Kowbell Burger: This Katy Asian Town gem whips up delicious hamburgers infused with flavors from Asian cuisine, and the resulting fusion is a symphony of salivary gland-inducing saporous bliss on the palate. My recommendation: Fire on the Mountain Burger, featuring pepper jack cheese, caramelized onions, soy-pickled japaleños, and Akma sauce.

    5) Big Burger World: Another bangin’ Katy hamburger joint; this one a bit of a hole-in-the-wall several miles up North Fry Road. Totally unassuming, this place unsurprisingly slings huge patties with plenty of topping options, and the beef is tender, juicy, and seasoned to excellence. If only it were a tad closer; I’d love to see more people know about and give this place the love it deserves.

    4) Star Sailor: Owner Marin Slanina’s epic take on the smashburger is consistently rated among the city’s best, and is extraordinarily well-deserving of all of the praise it receives. Juicy, bursting with flavor, and painstakingly prepared, you can practically taste the care and attention that goes into every delicious burger crafted at Star Sailor.

    3) Champ Burger: Champ’s as old school as old school gets, with 60-plus years in the business. Rather than search for new adjectives, here’s what I wrote about Champ after devouring it last January: “The Champ burger was, at the risk of overstating things, about as hedonistically thrilling a consumptive experience as one can hope to attain. Everything about this sandwich screams love, deliciousness, indulgence, excess, and yet still care and attentiveness. The patties are expertly seasoned and the 81/19 Chuck beef blend is melt-in-your-mouth exquisite (do yourself a favor and get the double, you won’t be sad that you did), the cheese perfectly gooey, and the toppings — oh, the toppings! — elevated the entire composition to an ethereal level.”

    2) Mean Burger: If we expand the definition of “Houston’s best burger” to include the surrounding suburban areas, the Humble-based establishment—located about 10 minutes northeast of IAH—might be the best hamburger around. A hugely satisfying experience, with monster patties and all the fixings you could hope to add—bacon, an egg, jalapeños, blue cheese, and on down the line—I’ve found myself looking for excuses to drive north even when I don’t have a flight. Another spot that would do exceptionally well if it had a more central location.

    1) Clutch City: A most-deserving #1 Burger of 2024, Clutch City’s meat is beyond reproach. Tender, melt-in-your-mouth, deliciously seasoned and lovingly prepared, owner Omar Shaikh’s brilliant burger is everything you want it to be. From my May review:

    “The Halal beef is exquisite, and Omar’s rub elevates the patties to the next level. It’s a simple BBQ rub consisting of cumin, salt and pepper (he didn’t say paprika or cayenne, though I felt like I was possibly picking some of those flavors up as well), but there’s an art in preparing burgers in just such a way where the finished product retains the key elements of the selected seasonings. And the clutch sauce — divine. Not sure I’ve ever had the precise combination of Cajun hot sauce, sweet pickle juice, pepper, mayo, mustard, and pureed onion, but now I want to put this sauce on literally everything.”

    Really the only downside for Clutch is that, located in the airy Uptown Conservatory food hall—a very welcome addition to the Houston food scene—it’s also about 50 feet away from burger-chan, often requiring a decision not even Solomon himself would want to make.

    Special Mention

    KP’s Kitchen. I find myself favoring burger establishments over restaurants that serve a notable burger, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t give KP’s a shoutout. The smashburger is a special one, and I’d love to see them open a location further west of the Spring Branch outpost, in my neck of the woods in Katy.

    Honorable mentions also go to Austin import Not a Damn Chance Burger, and Loaded Burger, both of which are worthy of any burger aficionado’s time.

    And for the record, here are my current Overall Houston Hamburger Power Rankings, regardless of whether I first consumed in 2024:

    5) Old School Burger
    4) Stanton’s City Bites
    3) Clutch City
    2) JLB Eatery
    1) burger-chan

    I have to give a special shout-out to burger-chan here, who was my #1 burger of 2023, and maintains its place as my favorite hamburger spot located anywhere (not just in Houston). Owners Willet and Diane Feng continue to be lauded for their efforts in elevating what a hamburger can be, and in 2024 alone they were recognized as a Top 100 Houston Restaurant on Yelp; and one of the Top 18 Burgers as well as one of the top 100 restaurants—not burger places, but all dining establishments—in all of Houston by The Houston Chronicle; truly cementing themselves as the best of the best.

    Not to mention they released a special limited-edition Blue Cheese Burger at my request, which was among my most memorable burger-eating experiences in all of 2024. It’s burger-chan’s world; we just live in it.

  • Burganic Hub brings the heat

    Burganic Hub brings the heat

    Friday, November8, 2024 — Burganic Hub’s been on my to-do list for a minute—with a 4.5 on Yelp and a 4.4 on Google (one of the few instances I’ve come across where Yelpers like a place more than Googlers), it currently sits as the 11th-highest-rated burger joint in Houston on my list—but I think I subconsciously deprioritized it given its vegan-first leanings. Not that I have anything against vegans or vegan food! But me being the devout and dedicated carnivore that I am, I can’t say a burger place that markets itself first and foremost as plant-based screams “Larry, drop everything and go there ASAP!”

    Situated literally just outside the Galleria Food Truck Park on Chimney Rock and Val Verde that I recently noted might be the most competitive location to sling patties in all of Houston (Crypto Burger, Bun Slut and newcomer Juicy Joint are all within roughly 50 feet of each other, plus burger-chan, Clutch City Grill, and Bubba’s are essentially around the corner), Burganic Hub plies its organic, grass-fed, antibiotic-free, hormone-free, halal wagyu beef and fake beef trade in a tiny space in a nondescript strip center.

    I ordered their Fiery Jalapeño Burger, which comes topped with cheddar, grilled jalapeños, hot relish, and caramelized onions. And of course, I had to add a second patty, because double hamburgers are life.

    Overall the burger was fine, though I came away feeling a little lacking. The beef was lightly seasoned, though too well-done for my liking. It wasn’t a hockey puck or anything, but minimally juicy for sure. The star of the show was the heat; even though the description doesn’t note any specific treatment for the jalapeños, I thought I detected perhaps a pickling of some kind. And the hot relish provided the extra heat I crave, while the sturdy-yet-soft bun helped tie everything together. Without those components, I’m sad to say I don’t know that this would have been all that notable an experience.

    The bar in Houston is a high one these days. Earlier this year some of my buddies were teasing me that it seemed as though every burger I reviewed received rave remarks across the board. And to a large extent, that was true — the first half of this year saw me visit Katy’s Big Burger World, Burger Bodega, Clutch City, Star Sailor, Humble’s Mean Burger (which might be the best in the Greater Houston Area), legendary Houston institution Champ Burger, KP’s Kitchen, and Katy Asian Town’s Kowbell Burger all for the first time; and the lowest score of those eight exceptional destinations was a 4.5 out of 5. But the last few weeks’ worth new spots — Juicy Joint, Bunslut, and now Burganic Hub — haven’t quite met the elevated standard set by the best of the best.

    Of course, things change, and I could be sitting here a year from now telling you that Burganic Hub has the best burger in Houston! As it currently stands, my rating is 3.75 out of 5 patties.

  • This Bun’s for you

    This Bun’s for you

    Friday, November 1, 2025 — This week’s Friday Burger Adventure had us finally knocking cheekily-named Bunslut off the list. Yet another entrant in the increasingly crowded Houston smashburger wars, I’ve known about this food truck for over a year but relatively mid-tier ratings (and a less-than-enthused firsthand account from a friend) kept it low on my priority list. They are also supposed to have been opening an outpost near my stomping grounds in Katy, but after installing signage over a year ago it appears the Katy Food Hall project has stalled out. 

    In any case, after last week’s visit to Juicy Joint left me wishing for a million customization options and loaded fries, I revisited Bun’s menu and to my delight, discovered that it offers both in spades.

    With that in mind, I ordered up a Double (with an extra patty, so a Triple, naturally 😊), which comes with American cheese, pickles, grilled onions, and their Slut Sauce. I added bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickles, cherry peppers, a fried egg, and jalapeños.

    And I couldn’t resist the Slutty Fries; comprised of seasoned fries, a chopped patty with cheese, slut sauce, and grilled onions. Because three patties clearly isn’t enough for my insatiable beef thirst, what’s one more on top of the potatoes?

    On to the actual tasting—I couldn’t find any information online about what type of beef Bun uses other than it being “local and organic,” and unfortunately, the patties really weren’t anything to write home about. Overcooked for me and kind of bland, they were the least interesting component of the sandwich. However, the assortment of add-ons propped the overall experience up, with the peppers and custom sauce stealing the show (the egg was also overcooked). 

    Even though Five Guys’ patties aren’t smashed, the construction, look, fixings, and texture of Bunslut’s sandwich reminded me a lot of the venerable fast food chain, given its heft and the way the bun disintegrated under the weight of a million toppings (which, I don’t have a problem with given how many items I stack on my burgers).

    Is it a negative for an independent food truck to be compared to Five Guys? Not necessarily—I like Five Guys for what it is—but I do think a local purveyor of patties should aim higher. The beef just wasn’t all that interesting, and while I appreciated there being a loaded fry option, once you dig below the Sauce and patty (was hoping the patty would be diced up and not literally a fully intact patty layered on top of the fries), the potatoes themselves also felt like a bit of an afterthought.

    Very happy to have tried it, but in Houston’s ultra-competitive hamburger /smashburger scene, Bunslut left a fair amount to be desired. 3.5 patties out of 5.

  • This Joint’s beef lives up to the Juicy hype

    This Joint’s beef lives up to the Juicy hype

    Friday, October 25, 2024 — First things first: I have to give brand-new Houston food truck Juicy Joint’s social media coordinator props. The only reason I even knew to try their hot-off-the-presses meat concoctions was that in the past few weeks, my Instagram and Facebook have been bombarded with hype videos announcing Juicy Joint’s opening. As launch parties aren’t my thing, I knew I needed to wait at least a week until the initial excitement died down (according to their IG stories, there were an extraordinary number of people lined up waiting to try their burgers on opening night—I LOVE hamburgers, but I detest waiting in lines of any kind for anything, and given the plethora of incredible options available in Houston I will never wait on a line for a burger), but they promoted an appearance by Paul Wall, free food, 50% off all weekend, and a contest to win free Juicy Joint food for a year. Those are some pretty solid tactics to get the burger-loving public’s attention.

    Juicy Joint’s claim to fame is that they are apparently the first ever burger spot in Houston to offer halal wagyu burgers. I’ve had plenty of halal, and plenty of wagyu, but I guess none of the spots I’ve been to have combined the two previously. 

    They’ve also elected to set up shop in a ridiculously competitive location for burgers, the Galleria Food Truck Park on Chimney Rock and Val Verde, which already features fellow purveyor of halal burgers Crypto Burger (which I sampled last February) as well as Bun Slut; not to mention highly-rated vegan-focused (though not exclusively so) Burganic Hub (4.5 on Yelp) in the retail center next door. PLUS there’s a Whataburger directly across the street. Not to mention just-anointed Top 100 Restaurant in Houston (and my personal #1) burger-chan, Clutch City Grill (very possibly my current #2), and Bubba’s (my #3 in 2023) are each within a 5-minute drive of Juicy Joint.

    Right out of the gate I was pleased to see that they offered both “regular”-sized patties and smashburgers. Longtime readers will recall that my preference is for monster-sized patties — though I’ve got plenty of love for the smash, especially when you consider burger-chan is my favorite spot in the city (though I also contend that burger-chan isn’t necessarily what I would consider a “true” smash, as their patties are quite a bit thicker than many other smash examples).

    I ordered the Jalapeño Groove Sizzler, which comes on a golden potato bun with 2 buttery wagyu smash patties (I added a third because two smashes never seem to fill me), American cheese, Juicy Joint’s signature sauce, crisp jalapeños, and shredded lettuce.

    The meat is absolutely the star of the show—juicy as advertised, delicate, and resplendently umami. The signature sauce was a tasty, and I really enjoyed the jalapeños—but I would’ve liked a lot more of them! Not sure if they are planning a French fry program, but at the moment they’re an afterthought — nicely seasoned, but none of the loaded options that have become de rigeur at many local hamburger spots.

    My only other nit is the relative lack of variety. While offering the two different types of patties is a refreshing change of pace, there are only two burger types within each category—Walk it Out Classic and Jalapeño Groove Sizzler in the smash tier, and Mushroom Groove Deluxe and Walkin’ on Sunshine representing the regular-sized options. And aside from adding a patty (which I was only able to do in person; they don’t appear to have added that option via ordering online) there were zero customization options. 

    For a topping freak like me, not being able to add 8,000 items definitely brings there experience down a notch or two.

    Juicy Joint gets high marks for the beef itself—and is flavorful enough that it’s worth a try—but it won’t dethrone the burger-chans or Clutch Cities of the world without a much wider range of sandwich types, customization options, and loaded fry offerings.

     4 patties out of 5 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔

  • Take a Bite out of Stanton’s

    Take a Bite out of Stanton’s

    Friday, October 18, 2024 — This week’s Friday burger: a return to Stanton’s City Bites, which just missed out on my 2023 Top 5 Burger List (but in retrospect probably should’ve taken the fifth slot).

    I (naturally) had their Blue Moon Burger, which comes with crumbled blue cheese, grilled onions, bacon, mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, and I added jalapeños, habañero mustard, a fried egg, and their Monster Sauce.

    Decadent. Satiating. Phenomenal.