Coming through in the Clutch

Friday, April 19, 2024 — Clutch City Grill hit my burger radar last fall when it was still operating as a food truck, but the timing never aligned for me to check it out. Thankfully they recently opened a permanent location at the brand-new elegant and charming uptown food hall, Conservatory Galleria (535 West Alabama, literally right next door to burger-chan). I’ve been to my share of food halls In different cities over the years, but not sure I’ve ever experienced anything in Houston that looked and felt quite like the warm and welcoming Conservatory Galleria. Even the original Conservatory Midtown can’t match the sunny vibes of its uptown sibling (considering the former is underground).

As my three readers will attest to, I fall in love with seemingly every new Houston burger I’ve tried during this past year’s worth of Friday Burger Adventures™️, but man — when the beef delivery vehicles continue to be this great, I’m not about to not rave about them. But also in fairness, I am pretty explicitly traveling to places that I’ve either already read great things about and/or that have compiled excellent ratings.

And indeed, Clutch City Grill is the third-highest rated hamburger in all of Houston per my list, behind only burger-chan and Star Sailor. And it absolutely deserves its dual 4.9 on both Yelp and Google.

Let’s start with the bun. Oh, that bun! Clutch City co-owner Omar sources his incredibly delicious sweet sourdough buns from Sweet Mesquite Bakery. They’re essentially classic dinner rolls split in half, and between its heft and the way Clutch City toasts the bread (admittedly similar to burger-chan) this bun was among the most enjoyable, tastiest, and durable I’ve ever encountered. That latter attribute is critical considering I typically want everything AND the kitchen sink on top of my burgers, and many buns are simply not able to maintain their integrity under pressure.

Moving on. I ordered the Clutch Burger — because two patties is life — which comes with lettuce, tomato, onion and their signature clutch sauce, and I (naturally) added jalapeños since I’m clearly obsessed with heat these days.

Let me tell you — the Halal beef is exquisite, and Omar’s rub elevates the patties to the next level. It’s a simple BBQ rub consisting of cumin, salt and pepper (he didn’t say paprika or cayenne, though I felt like I was possibly picking some of those flavors up as well), but there’s an art in preparing burgers in just such a way where the finished product retains the key elements of the selected seasonings. I myself have been dosing my homemade burgers with generous heapings of paprika and cayenne, and while they taste great after being pulled off the grill, I’ll be the first to admit my patties do not carry anywhere close to the nuance of Clutch City’s masterful preparation.

Secondly, the clutch sauce — divine. Not sure I’ve ever had the precise combination of Cajun hot sauce, sweet pickle juice, pepper, mayo, mustard, and pureed onion, but now I want to put this sauce on literally everything. And because I am insatiable, I of course also had to order the loaded fries, which come TOPPED with another patty (🙌 🙌 🙌), cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and a drizzle of clutch sauce. You don’t need me to tell you they were absolutely delicious.

And so yes — Larry loved another Houston burger. Clutch City is beyond worthy of its current top five status. But no apologies. The list of exceptional, mouth-wateringly flavorful hamburger sandwiches in the greater Houston area is getting absurdly long, and I believe our fair city is collectively home to the very best burgers in America.

That’s right — Houston has the best burgers in the U.S. Let’s gooooo 💪