Best Burgers Near Me

Tag: food

This Bun’s for you

Friday, November 1, 2025 — This week’s Friday Burger Adventure had us finally knocking cheekily-named Bunslut off the list. Yet another entrant in the increasingly crowded Houston smashburger wars, I’ve known about this food truck for over a year but relatively mid-tier ratings (and a less-than-enthused firsthand account from a friend) kept it low on my priority list. They are also supposed to have been opening an outpost near my stomping grounds in Katy, but after installing signage over a year ago it appears the Katy Food Hall project has stalled out.

In any case, after last week’s visit to Juicy Joint left me wishing for a million customization options and loaded fries, I revisited Bun’s menu and to my delight, discovered that it offers both in spades.

With that in mind, I ordered up a Double (with an extra patty, so a Triple, naturally 😊), which comes with American cheese, pickles, grilled onions, and their Slut Sauce. I added bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickles, cherry peppers, a fried egg, and jalapeños.

And I couldn’t resist the Slutty Fries; comprised of seasoned fries, a chopped patty with cheese, slut sauce, and grilled onions. Because three patties clearly isn’t enough for my insatiable beef thirst, what’s one more on top of the potatoes?

On to the actual tasting—I couldn’t find any information online about what type of beef Bun uses other than it being “local and organic,” and unfortunately, the patties really weren’t anything to write home about. Overcooked for me and kind of bland, they were the least interesting component of the sandwich. However, the assortment of add-ons propped the overall experience up, with the peppers and custom sauce stealing the show (the egg was also overcooked).

Even though Five Guys’ patties aren’t smashed, the construction, look, fixings, and texture of Bunslut’s sandwich reminded me a lot of the venerable fast food chain, given its heft and the way the bun disintegrated under the weight of a million toppings (which, I don’t have a problem with given how many items I stack on my burgers).

Is it a negative for an independent food truck to be compared to Five Guys? Not necessarily—I like Five Guys for what it is—but I do think a local purveyor of patties should aim higher. The beef just wasn’t all that interesting, and while I appreciated there being a loaded fry option, once you dig below the Sauce and patty (was hoping the patty would be diced up and not literally a fully intact patty layered on top of the fries), the potatoes themselves also felt like a bit of an afterthought.

Very happy to have tried it, but in Houston’s ultra-competitive hamburger /smashburger scene, Bunslut left a fair amount to be desired. 3.5 patties out of 5.

November 1, 2024
This Joint’s beef lives up to the Juicy hype

Friday, October 25, 2024 — First things first: I have to give brand-new Houston food truck Juicy Joint’s social media coordinator props. The only reason I even knew to try their hot-off-the-presses meat concoctions was that in the past few weeks, my Instagram and Facebook have been bombarded with hype videos announcing Juicy Joint’s opening. As launch parties aren’t my thing, I knew I needed to wait at least a week until the initial excitement died down (according to their IG stories, there were an extraordinary number of people lined up waiting to try their burgers on opening night—I LOVE hamburgers, but I detest waiting in lines of any kind for anything, and given the plethora of incredible options available in Houston I will never wait on a line for a burger), but they promoted an appearance by Paul Wall, free food, 50% off all weekend, and a contest to win free Juicy Joint food for a year. Those are some pretty solid tactics to get the burger-loving public’s attention.

Juicy Joint’s claim to fame is that they are apparently the first ever burger spot in Houston to offer halal wagyu burgers. I’ve had plenty of halal, and plenty of wagyu, but I guess none of the spots I’ve been to have combined the two previously.

They’ve also elected to set up shop in a ridiculously competitive location for burgers, the Galleria Food Truck Park on Chimney Rock and Val Verde, which already features fellow purveyor of halal burgers Crypto Burger (which I sampled last February) as well as Bun Slut; not to mention highly-rated vegan-focused (though not exclusively so) Burganic Hub (4.5 on Yelp) in the retail center next door. PLUS there’s a Whataburger directly across the street. Not to mention just-anointed Top 100 Restaurant in Houston (and my personal #1) burger-chan, Clutch City Grill (very possibly my current #2), and Bubba’s (my #3 in 2023) are each within a 5-minute drive of Juicy Joint.

Right out of the gate I was pleased to see that they offered both “regular”-sized patties and smashburgers. Longtime readers will recall that my preference is for monster-sized patties — though I’ve got plenty of love for the smash, especially when you consider burger-chan is my favorite spot in the city (though I also contend that burger-chan isn’t necessarily what I would consider a “true” smash, as their patties are quite a bit thicker than many other smash examples).

I ordered the Jalapeño Groove Sizzler, which comes on a golden potato bun with 2 buttery wagyu smash patties (I added a third because two smashes never seem to fill me), American cheese, Juicy Joint’s signature sauce, crisp jalapeños, and shredded lettuce.

The meat is absolutely the star of the show—juicy as advertised, delicate, and resplendently umami. The signature sauce was a tasty, and I really enjoyed the jalapeños—but I would’ve liked a lot more of them! Not sure if they are planning a French fry program, but at the moment they’re an afterthought — nicely seasoned, but none of the loaded options that have become de rigeur at many local hamburger spots.

My only other nit is the relative lack of variety. While offering the two different types of patties is a refreshing change of pace, there are only two burger types within each category—Walk it Out Classic and Jalapeño Groove Sizzler in the smash tier, and Mushroom Groove Deluxe and Walkin’ on Sunshine representing the regular-sized options. And aside from adding a patty (which I was only able to do in person; they don’t appear to have added that option via ordering online) there were zero customization options.

For a topping freak like me, not being able to add 8,000 items definitely brings there experience down a notch or two.

Juicy Joint gets high marks for the beef itself—and is flavorful enough that it’s worth a try—but it won’t dethrone the burger-chans or Clutch Cities of the world without a much wider range of sandwich types, customization options, and loaded fry offerings.

4 patties out of 5 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔

October 25, 2024
A thing of bleu-ty: burger-chan debuts limited-run Bleu Cheese Burger

Friday, October 11, 2024 — Regular readers (all three of you) will recall that I crowned burger-chan as my top hamburger restaurant in all of Houston and the Greater Houston area last year, and my opinion hasn’t changed.

I’d eat there weekly if I had the willpower to not pile their delicious sandwiches as high as possible with toppings—not to mention my OCD-driven desire to knock as many different places off my Houston burger list as I can — but that’s a me-problem, not theirs.

Almost exactly a year ago I asked owners Diane and Willet Feng if they would ever consider adding a bleu cheese option, as it has become my favorite fromage accoutrement. Diane initially seemed less than enthused by the idea, but Willet was game. And here we are, one year later, as burger-chan introduced a very limited edition Bleu Cheese Burger this week.

While I tried my best to adhere to the base structure engineered by Willet, me being me I couldn’t resist making a few modifications. Larry’s burger-chan Bleu Cheese Burger (or as my inner monologue refers to it, The Bleusical Box 😁) consisted of the following: two five-oz patties, bleu cheese and mozzarella, bacon, sautéed onions, lettuce, tomato, raw onion, habañero vinegar pickled pear, soy serrano peppers, pickled jalapeños, and 1,000 island dressing on their classic brioche bun.

Absolutely, unbelievably delicious. Cooked to perfection, burger-chan uses 100% halal ground chuck for their patties, and incorporates a distinctive minimalist salt and pepper seasoning with a garlic confit, browned butter, worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, and shiitake mushroom glaze. This concoction threw my salivary glands into overdrive and may well have been the tastiest thing I’ve eaten all year.

When your favorite burger spot creates a limited edition burger by special request—and the burger, is naturally, an absolute home run—well, that’s the stuff that dreams are made of.

October 11, 2024
This Burger didn’t stand a Chance

Saturday, September 28, 2024 — Not a Damn Chance Burger is, according to their website (and the inside of the burger carton), “a Wagyu cheeseburger collaboration between professional skateboarder Neen Williams and Michelin-starred chef Phillip Frankland Lee of Sushi by Scratch Restaurants & Pasta Bar.”

I first caught wind of this Austin-originated smashburger concept a year ago, and made a mental note to check it out during a future Austin visit. But I haven’t been to ATX since then, and so I was excited when I saw that a location of the hyped burger joint had opened in the Lustre Pearl in EaDo. Located literally across the street from Rodeo Goat—which has charmed many a Houston burger lover (including me), though as a Ft. Worth import is also not homegrown (for those that care about such things)—Houston’s NADC is more of an outpost than a restaurant. But that isn’t stopping it from crafting its tasty burger sandwiches.

There’s only one burger on the menu at NADC Houston: The NADC Burger, which consists of two smashed patties of 100% RC Ranch wagyu beef, American cheese, secret sauce, onions, pickles and what they refer to as slightly tamed jalapeños (you can add a third patty, but the upcharge is $8! I am a beef savage, but extra beef for half the cost of the sandwich is too much even for me).

Using Wagyu is the real differentiator here (or at least, making the usage of Wagyu a key part of their marketing 😊), as the beef was very flavorful and tender, and the secret sauce elevated the proceedings. I also dug the Beast Mode Fries, which were slathered in cheese, diced pickles & jalapeños, special sauce & seasoning.

As Houston’s elite burger scene is already extremely crowded with a salivating number of outstanding options, I don’t know that I’d go out of my way to get NADC’s smashburger—and being three feet from Rodeo Goat makes doing so an even trickier proposition—but the burger is distinctive enough to be worthy of your consideration.

If you dropped this concept somewhere in the Greater Houston area that was completely bereft of elite burgers, I think it would do really well. While Katy currently has no shortage of great burger places, I can’t think of any “drop everything and go there” smashburger options at the moment.

Hopefully it lasts—I feel like they probably need to boost their promotion of the concept (and the Lustre Pearl for that matter, which is actually another really rad food hall-ish type space somewhat reminiscent of Conservatory, though with fewer options) considering me, Houston’s most prominent burger lover (note tongue firmly in cheek), only caught wind of the fact that a beloved Austin instituion opened in Houston because it was mentioned offhandedly somewhere in one of my online content hubs.

I would’ve thought a local location for one of ATXs finest would’ve merited a full-court marketing/PR push (and for all I know, they very well may have done this!) leading to cultish lines out the door; when I showed up at opening time on a Friday afternoon there were literally zero other people there.

In fairness, the NADC Insta, Williams’, and Lee’s accounts did all post about its launch on June 21, and perhaps there was a groundswell of support that simply didn’t hit my social ecosystem at that time—but there doesn’t seem to have been an overwhelming amount of online chatter or marketing for the Houston spot in the ensuing three months since it launched.

And I’ve seen no discourse about NADC Houston in any of the multiple Houston Foodie Facebook groups I’m in, which in my experience tends to be the strongest indicator of what locals are excited about / gravitating toward. The Houston outpost also doesn’t have a location on Google, and on Yelp it’s only rated a 4.2.

But maybe that’s the point. The burger definitely didn’t stand a chance against my unslakable hunger for the finest beef concoctions in the land, and perhaps it doesn’t care if Houstonians flock to it or not.

4.25 patties out of 5.

September 28, 2024
Get a Load of this Burger!

Friday, September 20, 2024 — When I first compiled my Burger Rating list about a year ago, I remember M&M Grill (not to be confused with MnM Hamburger, a different burger place in Houston also on my list that—as far as I can tell—is not related in any way, shape, or form) being near the top. But with only so many Friday lunches to dedicate to the Burger Hunt™️, it had remained on the to-do list.

However, following a rebrand to Loaded Burger, I began to see their mouthwatering-looking hamburgers appear across my social ecosystems, and my interest re-piqued. And I’m glad it did.

Loaded Burger has two locations—one at 6921 Alameda Rd, just south of the Med Center, and another at 14631 Beechnut, in Sugar Land south of the Westpark Tollway near Highway 6.

And they’re not messing around with their beef.

Loaded offers a handful of options (that can also be customized) and I elected to go with the Mango Habaňero Burger.

Comprised of two Halal beef patties with fresh mango habaňero salsa, lettuce, pickles, and loaded sauce, the Mango Habaňero burger is a unique creation, and this delightful combination of savory ingredients is not something I’ve previously experienced.

Despite being loaded with goodies, the beef remained the star of the show—wonderfully cooked and seasoned, with a melt-in-your-mouth quality reminiscent of Clutch City (which is among my top burger spots of 2024). My only critique is that the patties were on the smaller side (at least for me) and I think I would’ve benefited from adding a third 😊.

As for the rest of the composition—suffice it to say it’s difficult for a burger topped with salsa to maintain its sandwich integrity, and so a good bit naturally spilled out (the bun did an admirable job of trying to keep everything together). Given my predilection for an absurd amount of toppings, this is par for the course for me when eating hamburgers pretty much anywhere at anytime, but worth noting. I secretly kinda love needing a fork or spoon to polish off the remainder of my burger fixings in the aftermath—the closest thing to a salad as I’ll get!

The Loaded sauce complemented the mango salsa nicely and both components seemed to amplify each other. The one aspect I would’ve loved more of was heat—for a burger that carries “habaňero” in its name, I detected almost no spiciness, surprisingly enough.

It took every bit of willpower not to order the chili fries—which I’m sure were delicious— but the curly fries and fried pickles were a perfect compliment to the meal.

Overall, Loaded Burger was another highly enjoyable entrant in Houston’s insanely great hamburger scene. I continue to challenge anyone out there to let me know of a city in the U.S with a more extensive list of world-class hamburger options. I won’t hear from anybody, because it can’t be done!

4.25 out of 5 patties 🍔🍔🍔🍔

September 20, 2024
Katy gem Big Burger World’s gigantic and delicious burgers are among Greater Houston’s most delicious

Friday, May 10, 2024 — How Houston (and the Greater Houston area) can boast and support this many wonderful burger options is beyond me. Granted, last I checked, the population of Houston and its surrounding suburban areas was somewhere in the neighborhood of 5 million, which means plenty of hungry patrons to feed.

However; while I had semi-high-expectations for it — being the third-highest-rated hamburger joint in Katy and 11th in all of Greater Houston per the Houston Burger Ranking list doesn’t just happen by accident — I was still very pleasantly surprised by just how wonderfully delicious Big Burger World is. And while it’s not quite in my backyard — truly, the only thing I might ding it for is being quite a bit further up North Fry (6078 N Fry Rd, to be exact) than I had anticipated; a trip that was exacerbated by the road-widening project at the Morton Rd intersection — it’s still close enough to my house that I wish I’d personally experienced its herculean greatness sooner.

The moment you step inside it quickly becomes clear that Big Burger World is a kindred spirit of Mean Burger, the hole-in-the-wall just north of IAH that I absolutely loved. Similar vibes right on down to the yellow paint on the walls (Hippo Burger also prominently features yellow in its color scheme), to the no-frills menu design, but most importantly — the meat and composition of the sandwich itself rivaled the mouth-watering insanity I enjoyed at Mean Burger. And I’d be remiss if I didn’t also make the comparison to fellow beloved Katy fave JLB Eatery, whose signature is also gigantic burgers.

I ordered the 1-pounder (yes, you read that right), and customized it with just about all of my favorites: lettuce, tomato, mayo, ketchup, mustard, pickles, onion, blue cheese crumbles, bacon, a fried egg, and of course, jalapeños. If you’re familiar with my reviews, you know that I LOVE huge burgers, and this delivered on that promise and then some!

The beef was seasoned nicely and its overall flavor very enjoyable, if perhaps on the drier side than I’d ordinarily like, but when you have this many toppings on a burger sandwich you don’t need the patties to be overly juicy. But also, one pound of beef! What’s not to love? The all-time combo of blue cheese and bacon elevated the proceedings even further, and the fried egg was generous and added some nice texture (I find eggs occasionally get lost in the shuffle on burgers). And no skimping on the jalapeños here, which delivered a pleasant piquancy. As almost always happens when I order this many toppings, the bun struggled to support the weight of this concoction, but a minor nit to be sure, and I appreciated that it came half-wrapped to facilitate consumption and ensure all of the goodies stayed put.

Unlike some of the other burger joints I’ve featured, Big Burger World’s fries are straightforward crinkle-cuts, with no signature toppings (that I could find). But when the overall burger composition is this tasty and satiating, you don’t necessarily also need a tray of fries smothered in essentially a second burger.

Overall I was — once again — beyond impressed with a local burger option. Big Burger World is unassuming, delectable, and also might be one of the area’s better-kept secrets. If you are a burger lover, make sure Big Burger World is next up on your to-do list!

Five out of five patties! 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔

May 10, 2024
A smashing burger in tribute to the Bodega

Friday, April 26, 2024 — Burger Bodega, at last! Perhaps the 2nd–most–hyped Smashburger joint in Houston after Trill Burger, I’ve had Burger Bodega on my to-do list for some time, but as my burger compendium kept expanding with locations rated higher than BB’s still-respectable 4.2 on Yelp, I ended up backburnering it for some time.

Boy, was that a mistake! Burger Bodega delivered on everything I want from a Smashburger place these days.

I ordered the Double Smash — debated going triple, but decided I’d get my third patty in the Chopped Fries :) — their signature burger which comes standard with cheese, grilled onions, pickles, and Bodega Sauce on a potato roll. I also added jalapeños, habaneros and spicy mayo, because heat is life. I hate to go back to the Trill comp for a third time (though in fairness it’s kind of hard not to do so, given that they both launched within several months of each other; are basically a straight 10-minute shot down Shepherd from each other; and specialize in smashburgers), but this was another key differentiator for Burger Bodega: freedom of customization is almost a non-negotiable point for me when selecting a burger joint.

Given how dressed this burger was I wasn’t able to pick up on anything specific flavor-note-wise on the seasoning or beef blend, but I did think the patties were well-prepared and flavorful. I was glad I added toppings and also happy that I went with the Chopped Fries to get that extra beef hit in — the Double Smash is not a tony burger by any stretch, but even with extras, it still didn’t quite pack the herculean heft of several of my favorite monster burger sandwiches. And that’s not a ding! Just an observation. Not every burger I consume needs to be enormous (Editor’s Note: Oh really?).

Lastly, I loved the overall vibe and decor of the restaurant, which pays full homage to New York City bodegas, all the way on down to branded cereal boxes, laundry detergent canisters, and more adorning the walls. As a New York City kid, I obviously have a deep affinity for the bodega, having grown up patronizing them daily. And my former NYC-based beer project, Third Rail Beer, famously (we were in The Wall Street Journal!) paid homage through our Bodega American Pale Ale, a lower-ABV (5.8%) all-Citra gem which was considered generously and aggressively hopped for its era — especially at that point in the NYC craft beer timeline (2014-2016 era).

My great friend Chris was kind enough to brew a modernized version of the Bodega recipe in tribute back in the fall of 2022, and he absolutely knocked it out of the park. The only downside was the batch was so tiny that only a very small handful of folks got to enjoy it. Maybe one day we’ll have an opportunity to run it back again.

In any case, as far as the Houston smashburger hierarchy goes, I’m not sure I have Burger Bodega in my top three — which is currently comprised of burger-chan, Star Sailor, and Clutch City Grill — but it’s almost certainly #4, and can hang with any of those cats on any given day.

My Burger Bodega rating: 4.5 out of 5 patties.

April 26, 2024
Coming through in the Clutch

Friday, April 19, 2024 — Clutch City Grill hit my burger radar last fall when it was still operating as a food truck, but the timing never aligned for me to check it out. Thankfully they recently opened a permanent location at the brand-new elegant and charming uptown food hall, Conservatory Galleria (535 West Alabama, literally right next door to burger-chan). I’ve been to my share of food halls In different cities over the years, but not sure I’ve ever experienced anything in Houston that looked and felt quite like the warm and welcoming Conservatory Galleria. Even the original Conservatory Midtown can’t match the sunny vibes of its uptown sibling (considering the former is underground).

As my three readers will attest to, I fall in love with seemingly every new Houston burger I’ve tried during this past year’s worth of Friday Burger Adventures™️, but man — when the beef delivery vehicles continue to be this great, I’m not about to not rave about them. But also in fairness, I am pretty explicitly traveling to places that I’ve either already read great things about and/or that have compiled excellent ratings.

And indeed, Clutch City Grill is the third-highest rated hamburger in all of Houston per my list, behind only burger-chan and Star Sailor. And it absolutely deserves its dual 4.9 on both Yelp and Google.

Let’s start with the bun. Oh, that bun! Clutch City co-owner Omar sources his incredibly delicious sweet sourdough buns from Sweet Mesquite Bakery. They’re essentially classic dinner rolls split in half, and between its heft and the way Clutch City toasts the bread (admittedly similar to burger-chan) this bun was among the most enjoyable, tastiest, and durable I’ve ever encountered. That latter attribute is critical considering I typically want everything AND the kitchen sink on top of my burgers, and many buns are simply not able to maintain their integrity under pressure.

Moving on. I ordered the Clutch Burger — because two patties is life — which comes with lettuce, tomato, onion and their signature clutch sauce, and I (naturally) added jalapeños since I’m clearly obsessed with heat these days.

Let me tell you — the Halal beef is exquisite, and Omar’s rub elevates the patties to the next level. It’s a simple BBQ rub consisting of cumin, salt and pepper (he didn’t say paprika or cayenne, though I felt like I was possibly picking some of those flavors up as well), but there’s an art in preparing burgers in just such a way where the finished product retains the key elements of the selected seasonings. I myself have been dosing my homemade burgers with generous heapings of paprika and cayenne, and while they taste great after being pulled off the grill, I’ll be the first to admit my patties do not carry anywhere close to the nuance of Clutch City’s masterful preparation.

Secondly, the clutch sauce — divine. Not sure I’ve ever had the precise combination of Cajun hot sauce, sweet pickle juice, pepper, mayo, mustard, and pureed onion, but now I want to put this sauce on literally everything. And because I am insatiable, I of course also had to order the loaded fries, which come TOPPED with another patty (🙌 🙌 🙌), cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and a drizzle of clutch sauce. You don’t need me to tell you they were absolutely delicious.

And so yes — Larry loved another Houston burger. Clutch City is beyond worthy of its current top five status. But no apologies. The list of exceptional, mouth-wateringly flavorful hamburger sandwiches in the greater Houston area is getting absurdly long, and I believe our fair city is collectively home to the very best burgers in America.

That’s right — Houston has the best burgers in the U.S. Let’s gooooo 💪

April 19, 2024
A smashing success: Star Sailor’s exceptional Smashburger is one of Houston’s very best

Friday, March 22, 2024 — Star Sailor is Houston’s most important bar & restaurant.

In a city that was once blessed with multiple outstanding destinations to enjoy expertly handpicked craft beer lists and generous outdoor seating (yes, I’m still mourning Petrol Station and The Rancor Burger, RIP), the last half decade has been deeply unkind to the Houston craft beer bar scene.

Thankfully, Marin Slanina set out to change all that—in 2020 of all years. Star Sailor is located on 18th and Ella, maybe 500 feet away from arguably my other favorite restaurant in The Heights, Hughie’s, and between a thoughtfully curated draft wall and a mouth-watering menu, should be at the very top of your to-do list if you haven’t been yet (and also if you have).

But you’re here for the burger content. While I’d been to Star Sailor previously for drinks, the establishment landed back on my radar after compiling my Houston Burger Ranking spreadsheet, where it sits at #2 in the entire city. Had I known what I was missing out on I’d have rectified the situation much earlier.

Star Sailor’s menu is impressively deep, but they are best known for their Smashburger. I’ve recently been griping to friends about how I’ve been underwhelmed by several of the smashburgers I’ve had of late—burger-chan of course being the exception; the sandwiches that have incurred my indifference are the last several New York City hype burgers I’ve had during my trips back up north. This past week in particular I was thrilled to finally check Gotham Burger Social Club off during my less than 48 hours in Manhattan and it was…decidedly unmemorable, not to mention unfulfilling. Its saving grace was the ghost pepper ranch sauce—but Star Sailor’s outstanding Smashburger has changed my tune entirely.

I ordered a double patty (because obviously), and the burger came topped with melted cheese, delicious Stellar sauce, chopped onion & pickles. I also had to add an egg, bacon, and sautéed jalapeños (because of course).

First things first—not sure what blend of beef Marin is using, but it’s wonderfully savory and tender. One of my complaints about smashes is that the smash technique tends to eliminate any semblance of juiciness, but this had it in spades and was prepared with love, attention, and precision.

Another issue that arises with many smashes is that they don’t satiate properly—I was hungry enough after the Gotham Social experience that I still had room for three slices of sublime NYC pizza (with anchovies, yum)! I am happy to report that the Star Sailor Double Smash is generous enough to satisfy my seemingly limitless desire for over-the-top meat concoctions.

The only negative aspect of this latest burger adventure was that it ended too quickly—though that is of course on me as by now you know I eat faster than just about anyone.

Overall, Star Sailor’s mouthwatering Smash is beyond deserving of its aggregate #2 ranking in all of Houston by Houstonians. The only establishment ahead of it is burger-chan, and I also agree as I have burger-chan as my #1 in Houston as well.

I mentioned this during my unenthusiastic review of NYC’s Nowon, and the sentiment only continues to calcify as I continue to enjoy excellent local burger after excellent local burger: Houston is absolutely throttling my hometown in beef delivery transcendence. Now if only someone would revive The Rancor.

5 out of 5 patties 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔

March 22, 2024
One Mean burger

Friday, March 8, 2024 — When they place it on a tee for you…

I love truth in advertising. The very first phrase you see on the home page of Humble’s Mean Burger is “That’s one Mean Burger!!” and they are not kidding around.

Mean Burger is located about 10 minutes northeast of IAH, and only hit my radar this past week. I knew I had to be up at the airport to complete the Global Entry process (which is more of a hassle than it should be), and so naturally I researched potential hamburger spots in the area.

Mean Burger has a 4.8 on both Yelp and Google — making it the 2nd-highest-rated burger joint in the entire greater Houston area! (after JLB Eatery) — and I am ecstatic to say that it absolutely lived up to that reputation.

Located in an unassuming strip center, Mean Burger’s interior is no-frills — which is basically the description of every legendary Houston burger place — and all chowing down.

I ordered the Mean Bleu Cheese Burger with two extremely generously sized patties (because of course), which came with bacon and blue cheese, and I added pickle, raw onion, pickled jalapeños, grilled jalapeños, grilled mushrooms, and thousand island dressing.

If you’ve read my reviews previously, you know that I (a) much prefer huge patties to smashburgers; (b) am wild about bleu cheese and bacon as burger toppings; and (c) always want to customize my sandwiches. I also deeply appreciate a place that gives you a starting point — in this case, the Mean Bleu — and then lets you go even further with additions.

As for the burger itself, look at that thing! A massive double stack piled to the sky with add-ons and a bun that can barely contain the proceedings. The beef was cooked wonderfully—I could’ve gone for a hint rawer, but the options were Medium, Medium Well, and Well Done, and even at a slightly lengthier cook the meat had enough juice—and lightly seasoned. Not sure what their blend is, but when your base patty is this bursting with flavor, no need to go overboard on salt.

The blue cheese was on point and bacon crispy, and the toppings were excessively generous. Not to slight Hippo, which I also enjoyed, but this is closer to what I was hoping for when I tried Hippo’s Blue burger a few weeks ago.

All in all, Mean checked just about every box I can think of for supreme burger satisfaction, and is most worthy of its ranking as #2 burger place in greater Houston!

I still can’t quite believe an aggregate 4.8 burger spot has existed in Houston without my knowing about it prior to this past week. Granted, Humble isn’t technically Houston, but definitely counts as greater Houston. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — Houstonians are beyond spoiled when it comes to options for utterly outrageously delicious meat piles. Now if only we could say the same about the local Hazy IPA scene, which of course isn’t entirely bereft of world-class options, but these days finding Houston breweries interested in pushing the envelope on saturation is largely an effort in futility. But that’s a conversation for another time :)

For today, let’s celebrate yet another outstanding burger option in Greater Houston — in fact, I’m fairly certain Mean Burger will crack my Top 5 (though it’s starting to get crowded in there!). 5 out of 5 patties! 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔

March 8, 2024