Tag: burgers

  • This Bun’s for you

    This Bun’s for you

    Friday, November 1, 2025 — This week’s Friday Burger Adventure had us finally knocking cheekily-named Bunslut off the list. Yet another entrant in the increasingly crowded Houston smashburger wars, I’ve known about this food truck for over a year but relatively mid-tier ratings (and a less-than-enthused firsthand account from a friend) kept it low on my priority list. They are also supposed to have been opening an outpost near my stomping grounds in Katy, but after installing signage over a year ago it appears the Katy Food Hall project has stalled out. 

    In any case, after last week’s visit to Juicy Joint left me wishing for a million customization options and loaded fries, I revisited Bun’s menu and to my delight, discovered that it offers both in spades.

    With that in mind, I ordered up a Double (with an extra patty, so a Triple, naturally 😊), which comes with American cheese, pickles, grilled onions, and their Slut Sauce. I added bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickles, cherry peppers, a fried egg, and jalapeños.

    And I couldn’t resist the Slutty Fries; comprised of seasoned fries, a chopped patty with cheese, slut sauce, and grilled onions. Because three patties clearly isn’t enough for my insatiable beef thirst, what’s one more on top of the potatoes?

    On to the actual tasting—I couldn’t find any information online about what type of beef Bun uses other than it being “local and organic,” and unfortunately, the patties really weren’t anything to write home about. Overcooked for me and kind of bland, they were the least interesting component of the sandwich. However, the assortment of add-ons propped the overall experience up, with the peppers and custom sauce stealing the show (the egg was also overcooked). 

    Even though Five Guys’ patties aren’t smashed, the construction, look, fixings, and texture of Bunslut’s sandwich reminded me a lot of the venerable fast food chain, given its heft and the way the bun disintegrated under the weight of a million toppings (which, I don’t have a problem with given how many items I stack on my burgers).

    Is it a negative for an independent food truck to be compared to Five Guys? Not necessarily—I like Five Guys for what it is—but I do think a local purveyor of patties should aim higher. The beef just wasn’t all that interesting, and while I appreciated there being a loaded fry option, once you dig below the Sauce and patty (was hoping the patty would be diced up and not literally a fully intact patty layered on top of the fries), the potatoes themselves also felt like a bit of an afterthought.

    Very happy to have tried it, but in Houston’s ultra-competitive hamburger /smashburger scene, Bunslut left a fair amount to be desired. 3.5 patties out of 5.

  • This Joint’s beef lives up to the Juicy hype

    This Joint’s beef lives up to the Juicy hype

    Friday, October 25, 2024 — First things first: I have to give brand-new Houston food truck Juicy Joint’s social media coordinator props. The only reason I even knew to try their hot-off-the-presses meat concoctions was that in the past few weeks, my Instagram and Facebook have been bombarded with hype videos announcing Juicy Joint’s opening. As launch parties aren’t my thing, I knew I needed to wait at least a week until the initial excitement died down (according to their IG stories, there were an extraordinary number of people lined up waiting to try their burgers on opening night—I LOVE hamburgers, but I detest waiting in lines of any kind for anything, and given the plethora of incredible options available in Houston I will never wait on a line for a burger), but they promoted an appearance by Paul Wall, free food, 50% off all weekend, and a contest to win free Juicy Joint food for a year. Those are some pretty solid tactics to get the burger-loving public’s attention.

    Juicy Joint’s claim to fame is that they are apparently the first ever burger spot in Houston to offer halal wagyu burgers. I’ve had plenty of halal, and plenty of wagyu, but I guess none of the spots I’ve been to have combined the two previously. 

    They’ve also elected to set up shop in a ridiculously competitive location for burgers, the Galleria Food Truck Park on Chimney Rock and Val Verde, which already features fellow purveyor of halal burgers Crypto Burger (which I sampled last February) as well as Bun Slut; not to mention highly-rated vegan-focused (though not exclusively so) Burganic Hub (4.5 on Yelp) in the retail center next door. PLUS there’s a Whataburger directly across the street. Not to mention just-anointed Top 100 Restaurant in Houston (and my personal #1) burger-chan, Clutch City Grill (very possibly my current #2), and Bubba’s (my #3 in 2023) are each within a 5-minute drive of Juicy Joint.

    Right out of the gate I was pleased to see that they offered both “regular”-sized patties and smashburgers. Longtime readers will recall that my preference is for monster-sized patties — though I’ve got plenty of love for the smash, especially when you consider burger-chan is my favorite spot in the city (though I also contend that burger-chan isn’t necessarily what I would consider a “true” smash, as their patties are quite a bit thicker than many other smash examples).

    I ordered the Jalapeño Groove Sizzler, which comes on a golden potato bun with 2 buttery wagyu smash patties (I added a third because two smashes never seem to fill me), American cheese, Juicy Joint’s signature sauce, crisp jalapeños, and shredded lettuce.

    The meat is absolutely the star of the show—juicy as advertised, delicate, and resplendently umami. The signature sauce was a tasty, and I really enjoyed the jalapeños—but I would’ve liked a lot more of them! Not sure if they are planning a French fry program, but at the moment they’re an afterthought — nicely seasoned, but none of the loaded options that have become de rigeur at many local hamburger spots.

    My only other nit is the relative lack of variety. While offering the two different types of patties is a refreshing change of pace, there are only two burger types within each category—Walk it Out Classic and Jalapeño Groove Sizzler in the smash tier, and Mushroom Groove Deluxe and Walkin’ on Sunshine representing the regular-sized options. And aside from adding a patty (which I was only able to do in person; they don’t appear to have added that option via ordering online) there were zero customization options. 

    For a topping freak like me, not being able to add 8,000 items definitely brings there experience down a notch or two.

    Juicy Joint gets high marks for the beef itself—and is flavorful enough that it’s worth a try—but it won’t dethrone the burger-chans or Clutch Cities of the world without a much wider range of sandwich types, customization options, and loaded fry offerings.

     4 patties out of 5 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔

  • A thing of bleu-ty: burger-chan debuts limited-run Bleu Cheese Burger

    A thing of bleu-ty: burger-chan debuts limited-run Bleu Cheese Burger

    Friday, October 11, 2024 — Regular readers (all three of you) will recall that I crowned burger-chan as my top hamburger restaurant in all of Houston and the Greater Houston area last year, and my opinion hasn’t changed.

    I’d eat there weekly if I had the willpower to not pile their delicious sandwiches as high as possible with toppings—not to mention my OCD-driven desire to knock  as many different places off my Houston burger list as I can — but that’s a me-problem, not theirs.

    Almost exactly a year ago I asked owners Diane and Willet Feng if they would ever consider adding a bleu cheese option, as it has become my favorite fromage accoutrement. Diane initially seemed less than enthused by the idea, but Willet was game. And here we are, one year later, as burger-chan introduced a very limited edition Bleu Cheese Burger this week.

    While I tried my best to adhere to the base structure engineered by Willet, me being me I couldn’t resist making a few modifications. Larry’s burger-chan Bleu Cheese Burger (or as my inner monologue refers to it, The Bleusical Box 😁) consisted of the following: two five-oz patties, bleu cheese and mozzarella, bacon, sautéed onions, lettuce, tomato, raw onion, habañero vinegar pickled pear, soy serrano peppers, pickled jalapeños, and 1,000 island dressing on their classic brioche bun.

    Absolutely, unbelievably delicious. Cooked to perfection, burger-chan uses 100% halal ground chuck for their patties, and incorporates a distinctive minimalist salt and pepper seasoning with a garlic confit, browned butter, worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, and shiitake mushroom glaze. This concoction threw my salivary glands into overdrive and may well have been the tastiest thing I’ve eaten all year.

    When your favorite burger spot creates a limited edition burger by special request—and the burger, is naturally, an absolute home run—well, that’s the stuff that dreams are made of.

  • Get a Load of this Burger!

    Get a Load of this Burger!

    Friday, September 20, 2024 — When I first compiled my Burger Rating list about a year ago, I remember M&M Grill (not to be confused with MnM Hamburger, a different burger place in Houston also on my list that—as far as I can tell—is not related in any way, shape, or form) being near the top. But with only so many Friday lunches to dedicate to the Burger Hunt™️, it had remained on the to-do list.

    However, following a rebrand to Loaded Burger, I began to see their mouthwatering-looking hamburgers appear across my social ecosystems, and my interest re-piqued. And I’m glad it did.

    Loaded Burger has two locations—one at 6921 Alameda Rd, just south of the Med Center, and another at 14631 Beechnut, in Sugar Land south of the Westpark Tollway near Highway 6.

    And they’re not messing around with their beef.

    Loaded offers a handful of options (that can also be customized) and I elected to go with the Mango Habaňero Burger.

    Comprised of two Halal beef patties with fresh mango habaňero salsa, lettuce, pickles, and loaded sauce, the Mango Habaňero burger is a unique creation, and this delightful combination of savory ingredients is not something I’ve previously experienced.

    Despite being loaded with goodies, the beef remained the star of the show—wonderfully cooked and seasoned, with a melt-in-your-mouth quality reminiscent of Clutch City (which is among my top burger spots of 2024). My only critique is that the patties were on the smaller side (at least for me) and I think I would’ve benefited from adding a third 😊.

    As for the rest of the composition—suffice it to say it’s difficult for a burger topped with salsa to maintain its sandwich integrity, and so a good bit naturally spilled out (the bun did an admirable job of trying to keep everything together). Given my predilection for an absurd amount of toppings, this is par for the course for me when eating hamburgers pretty much anywhere at anytime, but worth noting. I secretly kinda love needing a fork or spoon to polish off the remainder of my burger fixings in the aftermath—the closest thing to a salad as I’ll get!

    The Loaded sauce complemented the mango salsa nicely and both components seemed to amplify each other. The one aspect I would’ve loved more of was heat—for a burger that carries “habaňero” in its name, I detected almost no spiciness, surprisingly enough.

    It took every bit of willpower not to order the chili fries—which I’m sure were delicious— but the curly fries and fried pickles were a perfect compliment to the meal.

    Overall, Loaded Burger was another highly enjoyable entrant in Houston’s insanely great hamburger scene. I continue to challenge anyone out there to let me know of a city in the U.S with a more extensive list of world-class hamburger options. I won’t hear from anybody, because it can’t be done!

    4.25 out of 5 patties 🍔🍔🍔🍔

  • Katy gem Big Burger World’s gigantic and delicious burgers are among Greater Houston’s most delicious

    Katy gem Big Burger World’s gigantic and delicious burgers are among Greater Houston’s most delicious

    Friday, May 10, 2024 — How Houston (and the Greater Houston area) can boast and support this many wonderful burger options is beyond me. Granted, last I checked, the population of Houston and its surrounding suburban areas was somewhere in the neighborhood of 5 million, which means plenty of hungry patrons to feed.

    However; while I had semi-high-expectations for it — being the third-highest-rated hamburger joint in Katy and 11th in all of Greater Houston per the Houston Burger Ranking list doesn’t just happen by accident — I was still very pleasantly surprised by just how wonderfully delicious Big Burger World is. And while it’s not quite in my backyard — truly, the only thing I might ding it for is being quite a bit further up North Fry (6078 N Fry Rd, to be exact) than I had anticipated; a trip that was exacerbated by the road-widening project at the Morton Rd intersection — it’s still close enough to my house that I wish I’d personally experienced its herculean greatness sooner.

    The moment you step inside it quickly becomes clear that Big Burger World is a kindred spirit of Mean Burger, the hole-in-the-wall just north of IAH that I absolutely loved. Similar vibes right on down to the yellow paint on the walls (Hippo Burger also prominently features yellow in its color scheme), to the no-frills menu design, but most importantly — the meat and composition of the sandwich itself rivaled the mouth-watering insanity I enjoyed at Mean Burger. And I’d be remiss if I didn’t also make the comparison to fellow beloved Katy fave JLB Eatery, whose signature is also gigantic burgers.

    I ordered the 1-pounder (yes, you read that right), and customized it with just about all of my favorites: lettuce, tomato, mayo, ketchup, mustard, pickles, onion, blue cheese crumbles, bacon, a fried egg, and of course, jalapeños. If you’re familiar with my reviews, you know that I LOVE huge burgers, and this delivered on that promise and then some!

    The beef was seasoned nicely and its overall flavor very enjoyable, if perhaps on the drier side than I’d ordinarily like, but when you have this many toppings on a burger sandwich you don’t need the patties to be overly juicy. But also, one pound of beef! What’s not to love? The all-time combo of blue cheese and bacon elevated the proceedings even further, and the fried egg was generous and added some nice texture (I find eggs occasionally get lost in the shuffle on burgers). And no skimping on the jalapeños here, which delivered a pleasant piquancy. As almost always happens when I order this many toppings, the bun struggled to support the weight of this concoction, but a minor nit to be sure, and I appreciated that it came half-wrapped to facilitate consumption and ensure all of the goodies stayed put.

    Unlike some of the other burger joints I’ve featured, Big Burger World’s fries are straightforward crinkle-cuts, with no signature toppings (that I could find). But when the overall burger composition is this tasty and satiating, you don’t necessarily also need a tray of fries smothered in essentially a second burger.

    Overall I was — once again — beyond impressed with a local burger option. Big Burger World is unassuming, delectable, and also might be one of the area’s better-kept secrets. If you are a burger lover, make sure Big Burger World is next up on your to-do list!

    Five out of five patties! 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔

  • A smashing burger in tribute to the Bodega

    A smashing burger in tribute to the Bodega

    Friday, April 26, 2024 — Burger Bodega, at last! Perhaps the 2ndmosthyped Smashburger joint in Houston after Trill Burger, I’ve had Burger Bodega on my to-do list for some time, but as my burger compendium kept expanding with locations rated higher than BB’s still-respectable 4.2 on Yelp, I ended up backburnering it for some time.

    Boy, was that a mistake! Burger Bodega delivered on everything I want from a Smashburger place these days.

    I ordered the Double Smash — debated going triple, but decided I’d get my third patty in the Chopped Fries :) — their signature burger which comes standard with cheese, grilled onions, pickles, and Bodega Sauce on a potato roll. I also added jalapeños, habaneros and spicy mayo, because heat is life. I hate to go back to the Trill comp for a third time (though in fairness it’s kind of hard not to do so, given that they both launched within several months of each other; are basically a straight 10-minute shot down Shepherd from each other; and specialize in smashburgers), but this was another key differentiator for Burger Bodega: freedom of customization is almost a non-negotiable point for me when selecting a burger joint.

    Given how dressed this burger was I wasn’t able to pick up on anything specific flavor-note-wise on the seasoning or beef blend, but I did think the patties were well-prepared and flavorful. I was glad I added toppings and also happy that I went with the Chopped Fries to get that extra beef hit in — the Double Smash is not a tony burger by any stretch, but even with extras, it still didn’t quite pack the herculean heft of several of my favorite monster burger sandwiches. And that’s not a ding! Just an observation. Not every burger I consume needs to be enormous (Editor’s Note: Oh really?).

    Lastly, I loved the overall vibe and decor of the restaurant, which pays full homage to New York City bodegas, all the way on down to branded cereal boxes, laundry detergent canisters, and more adorning the walls. As a New York City kid, I obviously have a deep affinity for the bodega, having grown up patronizing them daily. And my former NYC-based beer project, Third Rail Beer, famously (we were in The Wall Street Journal!) paid homage through our Bodega American Pale Ale, a lower-ABV (5.8%) all-Citra gem which was considered generously and aggressively hopped for its era — especially at that point in the NYC craft beer timeline (2014-2016 era).

    My great friend Chris was kind enough to brew a modernized version of the Bodega recipe in tribute back in the fall of 2022, and he absolutely knocked it out of the park. The only downside was the batch was so tiny that only a very small handful of folks got to enjoy it. Maybe one day we’ll have an opportunity to run it back again.

    In any case, as far as the Houston smashburger hierarchy goes, I’m not sure I have Burger Bodega in my top three — which is currently comprised of burger-chan, Star Sailor, and Clutch City Grill — but it’s almost certainly #4, and can hang with any of those cats on any given day.

    My Burger Bodega rating: 4.5 out of 5 patties.

  • Coming through in the Clutch

    Coming through in the Clutch

    Friday, April 19, 2024 — Clutch City Grill hit my burger radar last fall when it was still operating as a food truck, but the timing never aligned for me to check it out. Thankfully they recently opened a permanent location at the brand-new elegant and charming uptown food hall, Conservatory Galleria (535 West Alabama, literally right next door to burger-chan). I’ve been to my share of food halls In different cities over the years, but not sure I’ve ever experienced anything in Houston that looked and felt quite like the warm and welcoming Conservatory Galleria. Even the original Conservatory Midtown can’t match the sunny vibes of its uptown sibling (considering the former is underground).

    As my three readers will attest to, I fall in love with seemingly every new Houston burger I’ve tried during this past year’s worth of Friday Burger Adventures™️, but man — when the beef delivery vehicles continue to be this great, I’m not about to not rave about them. But also in fairness, I am pretty explicitly traveling to places that I’ve either already read great things about and/or that have compiled excellent ratings.

    And indeed, Clutch City Grill is the third-highest rated hamburger in all of Houston per my list, behind only burger-chan and Star Sailor. And it absolutely deserves its dual 4.9 on both Yelp and Google.

    Let’s start with the bun. Oh, that bun! Clutch City co-owner Omar sources his incredibly delicious sweet sourdough buns from Sweet Mesquite Bakery. They’re essentially classic dinner rolls split in half, and between its heft and the way Clutch City toasts the bread (admittedly similar to burger-chan) this bun was among the most enjoyable, tastiest, and durable I’ve ever encountered. That latter attribute is critical considering I typically want everything AND the kitchen sink on top of my burgers, and many buns are simply not able to maintain their integrity under pressure.

    Moving on. I ordered the Clutch Burger — because two patties is life — which comes with lettuce, tomato, onion and their signature clutch sauce, and I (naturally) added jalapeños since I’m clearly obsessed with heat these days.

    Let me tell you — the Halal beef is exquisite, and Omar’s rub elevates the patties to the next level. It’s a simple BBQ rub consisting of cumin, salt and pepper (he didn’t say paprika or cayenne, though I felt like I was possibly picking some of those flavors up as well), but there’s an art in preparing burgers in just such a way where the finished product retains the key elements of the selected seasonings. I myself have been dosing my homemade burgers with generous heapings of paprika and cayenne, and while they taste great after being pulled off the grill, I’ll be the first to admit my patties do not carry anywhere close to the nuance of Clutch City’s masterful preparation.

    Secondly, the clutch sauce — divine. Not sure I’ve ever had the precise combination of Cajun hot sauce, sweet pickle juice, pepper, mayo, mustard, and pureed onion, but now I want to put this sauce on literally everything. And because I am insatiable, I of course also had to order the loaded fries, which come TOPPED with another patty (🙌 🙌 🙌), cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and a drizzle of clutch sauce. You don’t need me to tell you they were absolutely delicious.

    And so yes — Larry loved another Houston burger. Clutch City is beyond worthy of its current top five status. But no apologies. The list of exceptional, mouth-wateringly flavorful hamburger sandwiches in the greater Houston area is getting absurdly long, and I believe our fair city is collectively home to the very best burgers in America.

    That’s right — Houston has the best burgers in the U.S. Let’s gooooo 💪

  • One Mean burger

    One Mean burger

    Friday, March 8, 2024 — When they place it on a tee for you…

    I love truth in advertising. The very first phrase you see on the home page of Humble’s Mean Burger is “That’s one Mean Burger!!” and they are not kidding around.

    Mean Burger is located about 10 minutes northeast of IAH, and only hit my radar this past week. I knew I had to be up at the airport to complete the Global Entry process (which is more of a hassle than it should be), and so naturally I researched potential hamburger spots in the area.

    Mean Burger has a 4.8 on both Yelp and Google — making it the 2nd-highest-rated burger joint in the entire greater Houston area! (after JLB Eatery) — and I am ecstatic to say that it absolutely lived up to that reputation.

    Located in an unassuming strip center, Mean Burger’s interior is no-frills — which is basically the description of every legendary Houston burger place — and all chowing down.

    I ordered the Mean Bleu Cheese Burger with two extremely generously sized patties (because of course), which came with bacon and blue cheese, and I added pickle, raw onion, pickled jalapeños, grilled jalapeños, grilled mushrooms, and thousand island dressing.

    If you’ve read my reviews previously, you know that I (a) much prefer huge patties to smashburgers; (b) am wild about bleu cheese and bacon as burger toppings; and (c) always want to customize my sandwiches. I also deeply appreciate a place that gives you a starting point — in this case, the Mean Bleu — and then lets you go even further with additions.

    As for the burger itself, look at that thing! A massive double stack piled to the sky with add-ons and a bun that can barely contain the proceedings. The beef was cooked wonderfully—I could’ve gone for a hint rawer, but the options were Medium, Medium Well, and Well Done, and even at a slightly lengthier cook the meat had enough juice—and lightly seasoned. Not sure what their blend is, but when your base patty is this bursting with flavor, no need to go overboard on salt.

    The blue cheese was on point and bacon crispy, and the toppings were excessively generous. Not to slight Hippo, which I also enjoyed, but this is closer to what I was hoping for when I tried Hippo’s Blue burger a few weeks ago.

    All in all, Mean checked just about every box I can think of for supreme burger satisfaction, and is most worthy of its ranking as #2 burger place in greater Houston!

    I still can’t quite believe an aggregate 4.8 burger spot has existed in Houston without my knowing about it prior to this past week. Granted, Humble isn’t technically Houston, but definitely counts as greater Houston. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — Houstonians are beyond spoiled when it comes to options for utterly outrageously delicious meat piles. Now if only we could say the same about the local Hazy IPA scene, which of course isn’t entirely bereft of world-class options, but these days finding Houston breweries interested in pushing the envelope on saturation is largely an effort in futility. But that’s a conversation for another time :)

    For today, let’s celebrate yet another outstanding burger option in Greater Houston — in fact, I’m fairly certain Mean Burger will crack my Top 5 (though it’s starting to get crowded in there!). 5 out of 5 patties! 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔

  • Offbeat local fast food franchise Hippo Burger lives up to its name

    Offbeat local fast food franchise Hippo Burger lives up to its name

    Friday, February 23, 2024 — On the heels of my not-as-amazing-as-I’d-hoped experience at Flip ’n Patties on my actual birthday this past week, I found myself craving a beef topping combo I know and love. Specifically, a blue cheese and bacon burger.

    For the seemingly zillion hamburger options in Houston, there are surprisingly few that offer a blue cheese option. And there seem to be even fewer that let you customize to your heart’s content.

    As I studied my burger list to determine where my next adventure would take me, I had three criteria: I definitely wanted it to be a burger joint, not a restaurant with a notable burger. I wanted it to be near the top of the ratings, as I work my way down from highest to lowest. And if it didn’t have blue cheese as a substitute, it at least needed to offer a burger sandwich that came topped with blue cheese in its description.

    It didn’t take me long to identify the location that met all three: Hippo Burgers. Hippo’s been on my list for a while, but given its relatively far-flung locations—it actually has 10(!) outposts in the greater Houston area, though the closest to the Galleria is still a 25-minute ride away—it kept getting backburnered.

    To my delight, one of Hippo’s primary offerings is the Hippo Blue Burger, and at a 4.3 Yelp / 4.6 Google ranking, Hippos is the 13th-highest rated Hamburger Joint in Houston. With only four places ahead of it I haven’t tried yet, Hippo was the clear choice to satisfy my high-rated blue cheese craving.

    However, before diving into the meat, I’d be remiss if I didn’t comment on the Hippo experience. I’m not sure if they all share the same appearance, but the one on the Sam Houston Tollway is connected to a gas station mini mart, and the yellow interior decor—and even the logo!—are eerily evocative of Kevin Smith’s View Askewniverse fast food satire Mooby’s

    Despite placing my order in advance, I still had to wait in a line while in-person customers ordered ahead of me, due to there being one cashier. Efficiency is not the name of the game at Hippo. One last quirk — one of Hippo’s differentiators is apparently photographing (and serving!) their burgers upside-down. For the life of me I’m not entirely sure what this is meant to accomplish, though it’s something to talk about.

    Anyway, on to the savory (I’d say juicy, but this burger was decided not) details! Right out of the gate I knew I’d be happy with this substantially sized hamburger sandwich, especially after the petite presentation of Flip ‘n’s Puet Burger

    The Hippo Blue Burger is comprised of a 1/2 pound Angus beef patty, bacon, bleu cheese, mayo, lettuce, and tomatoes. I added mustard, ketchup, pickles, jalapeños, and a fried egg, delivered on a generously sized (upside down) potato bun. For me, this specific combination of toppings is almost as good as it gets—had they offered banana peppers, it would’ve been an all-time Larry burger.

    As it stands, the sandwich overall was enjoyable, primarily because of the heft of the patty and the glorious synergy of the toppings. I could’ve used even more blue cheese crumbles and maybe another strip of bacon, but the flavor mix was mostly on point, and I was also glad I added jalapeños (and received more than one this time!) for some much-needed heat.

    Alas, similar to my recent experience with Crypto Burger, the toppings really stole the show, as the meat itself was dry and overcooked. A bit reminiscent of Whataburger (which, I like Whataburger! But I also know exactly what I’m getting myself into when eating at Whataburger, and that is a beef patty more arid than a Houston summer day). 

    Still, overall I really enjoyed finally trying Hippo, and while I wouldn’t go out of my way, I’d definitely eat it again. The more I dive into this burger adventure, the fewer places I’ve come across that allow the level of full-blown customization that Hippo does (the only enhancement I didn’t see was the ability to add a second patty — not that this particular beef monster needed a friend, but I always appreciate having the option to go full-on gorge). In my experience, Hippo’s modification options are rivaled only by those of burger-chan‘s.

    4.25 out of 5 patties.

  • Not quite flippin’ out for Flip ‘n Patties

    Not quite flippin’ out for Flip ‘n Patties

    Thursday, February 22, 2024 — Like several of the Houston culinary scene’s success stories, Flip ‘n Patties began life as a popular food truck with a mission statement of “To bring happiness to your heart by sharing Filipino flavors and culture.” In 2017 it made the leap to brick-and-mortar, and currently boasts not one but two locations in the Houston area — one in Downtown, and the other in the Energy Corridor on Eldridge.

    I learned of Flip n’ Patties’ existence by way of Reddit (if you’re ever looking for an endless supply of local recommendations, just Google “Houston’s best burgers” and in addition to the usual roundups from area publications you’ll also surface ~8,000 Reddit threads), and it quickly laddered its way up my to-do list after discovering it carried a 4.6 Yelp / 4.7 Google rating. I recently added categories to my spreadsheetHamburger Joint, Smashburger, and Restaurant with a Notable Burger — and Flip n’ Patties ranks as the #3 spot in all of Houston in the Restaurant w/Notable Burger arena (I wrestled a bit with this grouping, as Flip ‘n does have a hamburger in its logo, but ultimately the wide range and diversity of the entirety of the menu landed it in full-blown restaurant territory for me). 

    Top 3 means I went in with pretty high expectations.

    Were they met? Unfortunately, it fell a little short for me. 

    Let’s start with the good: the steamed buns — handcrafted and made fresh daily — might be the tastiest at any establishment that serves a hamburger in Houston. I’d never previously had a hamburger served to me on such a vehicle, and the flavor and texture were evocative of dining on delicious pork buns. Unfortunately the composition of the bun is also not entirely conducive to fully holding up to the weight and juiciness of the contents inside, but it was hard to be too disappointed about a slightly soggy bun when the flavor was so enjoyable.

    The not so good: there were several extremely appealing-sounding burgers on the menu, and it was a challenge to make a selection. I went with the Puet Burger, comprised of Akaushi beef (I’ve of course had Wagyu, but this was a new blend to me), diced pecan smoked pork butt, sautéed onions, provolone, houseblend mayo, and FnP tang sauce. I asked if I could add jalapeños, which they agreed to, but somewhat surprisingly declined my request for a second patty. I also thought the recipe’s inclusion of provolone was a bit odd, as in my experience provolone is fine, but doesn’t generally add much flavor-wise. 

    (Sidebar: the deeper I get into my burger quest, I’m increasingly finding that most cheese varieties don’t actually seem to shine in a saporous manner during the overall burger-consumption experience. Don’t get me wrong — I’m never going to not order cheese on my burger — but unless it’s something notably piquant, like blue cheese or extra sharp cheddar, cheese’s role in the topping taste profile of many burgers seems to be more of a gooey, secondary, texture-based one than a scene-stealing star turn).

    Unfortunately the sandwich struggled to overcome my preconceived notions. The beef blend did indeed have the melt-in-your-mouth richness hallmark of Akaushi — but the patty was smaller than anticipated. Those of you that have broken bread with me know I tend to eat as though I literally just discovered food, but this was inhaled expediently even for me — maybe four bites, tops. I really would’ve loved a second patty. The pork butt got a bit lost amid the onions and sauces, and I’m not sure my addition of jalapeños came to fruition — I think I spotted just one. And as expected, the provolone was invisibly bland.

    It’s very possible the Puet Burger just wasn’t for me. I thought the beef was flavorful enough that I’d be willing to give a different burger composition at Flip ‘n Patties another try at some point, but I wouldn’t go out of my way for it (don’t even get me started on how much of a nightmare it is to navigate Eldridge Street during rush hour!). I would be very curious to assemble an Akaushi patty with my preferred toppings of blue cheese, bacon, pickled jalapeños and onions, banana peppers, pickles, ketchup, lettuce, tomato, mustard, and mayo, and as I’m typing this out I might need to fire up the grill and do just that this weekend.

    I’m not sure it’s entirely fair to rate a restaurant based on the one thing you ordered when there are multiple other options available in its cohort, but on the flip side I’m also not ordering five different hamburgers everywhere I go (as much as I would love to). I’m giving it a 4, which may sound generous after I spent most of the review dinging it, but the quality of the beef and bun kept it from being a total letdown. 

    And on to the next burger adventure!