Author: Larry Koestler

Friday, April 19, 2024 — Clutch City Grill hit my burger radar last fall when it was still operating as a food truck, but the timing never aligned for me to check it out. Thankfully they recently opened a permanent location at the brand-new elegant and charming uptown food hall, Conservatory Galleria (535 West Alabama, literally right next door to burger-chan). I’ve been to my share of food halls In different cities over the years, but not sure I’ve ever experienced anything in Houston that looked and felt quite like the warm and welcoming Conservatory Galleria. Even the original Conservatory Midtown can’t match the sunny vibes of its uptown sibling (considering the former is underground).

As my three readers will attest to, I fall in love with seemingly every new Houston burger I’ve tried during this past year’s worth of Friday Burger Adventures™️, but man — when the beef delivery vehicles continue to be this great, I’m not about to not rave about them. But also in fairness, I am pretty explicitly traveling to places that I’ve either already read great things about and/or that have compiled excellent ratings.

And indeed, Clutch City Grill is the third-highest rated hamburger in all of Houston per my list, behind only burger-chan and Star Sailor. And it absolutely deserves its dual 4.9 on both Yelp and Google.

Let’s start with the bun. Oh, that bun! Clutch City co-owner Omar sources his incredibly delicious sweet sourdough buns from Sweet Mesquite Bakery. They’re essentially classic dinner rolls split in half, and between its heft and the way Clutch City toasts the bread (admittedly similar to burger-chan) this bun was among the most enjoyable, tastiest, and durable I’ve ever encountered. That latter attribute is critical considering I typically want everything AND the kitchen sink on top of my burgers, and many buns are simply not able to maintain their integrity under pressure.

Moving on. I ordered the Clutch Burger — because two patties is life — which comes with lettuce, tomato, onion and their signature clutch sauce, and I (naturally) added jalapeños since I’m clearly obsessed with heat these days.

Let me tell you — the Halal beef is exquisite, and Omar’s rub elevates the patties to the next level. It’s a simple BBQ rub consisting of cumin, salt and pepper (he didn’t say paprika or cayenne, though I felt like I was possibly picking some of those flavors up as well), but there’s an art in preparing burgers in just such a way where the finished product retains the key elements of the selected seasonings. I myself have been dosing my homemade burgers with generous heapings of paprika and cayenne, and while they taste great after being pulled off the grill, I’ll be the first to admit my patties do not carry anywhere close to the nuance of Clutch City’s masterful preparation.

Secondly, the clutch sauce — divine. Not sure I’ve ever had the precise combination of Cajun hot sauce, sweet pickle juice, pepper, mayo, mustard, and pureed onion, but now I want to put this sauce on literally everything. And because I am insatiable, I of course also had to order the loaded fries, which come TOPPED with another patty (🙌 🙌 🙌), cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and a drizzle of clutch sauce. You don’t need me to tell you they were absolutely delicious.

And so yes — Larry loved another Houston burger. Clutch City is beyond worthy of its current top five status. But no apologies. The list of exceptional, mouth-wateringly flavorful hamburger sandwiches in the greater Houston area is getting absurdly long, and I believe our fair city is collectively home to the very best burgers in America.

That’s right — Houston has the best burgers in the U.S. Let’s gooooo 💪

Thursday, February 22, 2024 — Like several of the Houston culinary scene’s success stories, Flip ‘n Patties began life as a popular food truck with a mission statement of “To bring happiness to your heart by sharing Filipino flavors and culture.” In 2017 it made the leap to brick-and-mortar, and currently boasts not one but two locations in the Houston area — one in Downtown, and the other in the Energy Corridor on Eldridge.

I learned of Flip n’ Patties’ existence by way of Reddit (if you’re ever looking for an endless supply of local recommendations, just Google “Houston’s best burgers” and in addition to the usual roundups from area publications you’ll also surface ~8,000 Reddit threads), and it quickly laddered its way up my to-do list after discovering it carried a 4.6 Yelp / 4.7 Google rating. I recently added categories to my spreadsheet — Hamburger Joint, Smashburger, and Restaurant with a Notable Burger — and Flip n’ Patties ranks as the #3 spot in all of Houston in the Restaurant w/Notable Burger arena (I wrestled a bit with this grouping, as Flip ‘n does have a hamburger in its logo, but ultimately the wide range and diversity of the entirety of the menu landed it in full-blown restaurant territory for me). 

Top 3 means I went in with pretty high expectations.

Were they met? Unfortunately, it fell a little short for me. 

Let’s start with the good: the steamed buns — handcrafted and made fresh daily — might be the tastiest at any establishment that serves a hamburger in Houston. I’d never previously had a hamburger served to me on such a vehicle, and the flavor and texture were evocative of dining on delicious pork buns. Unfortunately the composition of the bun is also not entirely conducive to fully holding up to the weight and juiciness of the contents inside, but it was hard to be too disappointed about a slightly soggy bun when the flavor was so enjoyable.

The not so good: there were several extremely appealing-sounding burgers on the menu, and it was a challenge to make a selection. I went with the Puet Burger, comprised of Akaushi beef (I’ve of course had Wagyu, but this was a new blend to me), diced pecan smoked pork butt, sautéed onions, provolone, houseblend mayo, and FnP tang sauce. I asked if I could add jalapeños, which they agreed to, but somewhat surprisingly declined my request for a second patty. I also thought the recipe’s inclusion of provolone was a bit odd, as in my experience provolone is fine, but doesn’t generally add much flavor-wise. 

(Sidebar: the deeper I get into my burger quest, I’m increasingly finding that most cheese varieties don’t actually seem to shine in a saporous manner during the overall burger-consumption experience. Don’t get me wrong — I’m never going to not order cheese on my burger — but unless it’s something notably piquant, like blue cheese or extra sharp cheddar, cheese’s role in the topping taste profile of many burgers seems to be more of a gooey, secondary, texture-based one than a scene-stealing star turn).

Unfortunately the sandwich struggled to overcome my preconceived notions. The beef blend did indeed have the melt-in-your-mouth richness hallmark of Akaushi — but the patty was smaller than anticipated. Those of you that have broken bread with me know I tend to eat as though I literally just discovered food, but this was inhaled expediently even for me — maybe four bites, tops. I really would’ve loved a second patty. The pork butt got a bit lost amid the onions and sauces, and I’m not sure my addition of jalapeños came to fruition — I think I spotted just one. And as expected, the provolone was invisibly bland.

It’s very possible the Puet Burger just wasn’t for me. I thought the beef was flavorful enough that I’d be willing to give a different burger composition at Flip ‘n Patties another try at some point, but I wouldn’t go out of my way for it (don’t even get me started on how much of a nightmare it is to navigate Eldridge Street during rush hour!). I would be very curious to assemble an Akaushi patty with my preferred toppings of blue cheese, bacon, pickled jalapeños and onions, banana peppers, pickles, ketchup, lettuce, tomato, mustard, and mayo, and as I’m typing this out I might need to fire up the grill and do just that this weekend.

I’m not sure it’s entirely fair to rate a restaurant based on the one thing you ordered when there are multiple other options available in its cohort, but on the flip side I’m also not ordering five different hamburgers everywhere I go (as much as I would love to). I’m giving it a 4, which may sound generous after I spent most of the review dinging it, but the quality of the beef and bun kept it from being a total letdown. 

And on to the next burger adventure!