Best Burgers Near Me

Month: March 2024

  • A smashing success: Star Sailor’s exceptional Smashburger is one of Houston’s very best

    A smashing success: Star Sailor’s exceptional Smashburger is one of Houston’s very best

    Friday, March 22, 2024 — Star Sailor is Houston’s most important bar & restaurant.

    In a city that was once blessed with multiple outstanding destinations to enjoy expertly handpicked craft beer lists and generous outdoor seating (yes, I’m still mourning Petrol Station and The Rancor Burger, RIP), the last half decade has been deeply unkind to the Houston craft beer bar scene.

    Thankfully, Marin Slanina set out to change all that—in 2020 of all years. Star Sailor is located on 18th and Ella, maybe 500 feet away from arguably my other favorite restaurant in The Heights, Hughie’s, and between a thoughtfully curated draft wall and a mouth-watering menu, should be at the very top of your to-do list if you haven’t been yet (and also if you have).

    But you’re here for the burger content. While I’d been to Star Sailor previously for drinks, the establishment landed back on my radar after compiling my Houston Burger Ranking spreadsheet, where it sits at #2 in the entire city. Had I known what I was missing out on I’d have rectified the situation much earlier.

    Star Sailor’s menu is impressively deep, but they are best known for their Smashburger. I’ve recently been griping to friends about how I’ve been underwhelmed by several of the smashburgers I’ve had of late—burger-chan of course being the exception; the sandwiches that have incurred my indifference are the last several New York City hype burgers I’ve had during my trips back up north. This past week in particular I was thrilled to finally check Gotham Burger Social Club off during my less than 48 hours in Manhattan and it was…decidedly unmemorable, not to mention unfulfilling. Its saving grace was the ghost pepper ranch sauce—but Star Sailor’s outstanding Smashburger has changed my tune entirely.

    I ordered a double patty (because obviously), and the burger came topped with melted cheese, delicious Stellar sauce, chopped onion & pickles. I also had to add an egg, bacon, and sautéed jalapeños (because of course).

    First things first—not sure what blend of beef Marin is using, but it’s wonderfully savory and tender. One of my complaints about smashes is that the smash technique tends to eliminate any semblance of juiciness, but this had it in spades and was prepared with love, attention, and precision.

    Another issue that arises with many smashes is that they don’t satiate properly—I was hungry enough after the Gotham Social experience that I still had room for three slices of sublime NYC pizza (with anchovies, yum)! I am happy to report that the Star Sailor Double Smash is generous enough to satisfy my seemingly limitless desire for over-the-top meat concoctions.

    The only negative aspect of this latest burger adventure was that it ended too quickly—though that is of course on me as by now you know I eat faster than just about anyone.

    Overall, Star Sailor’s mouthwatering Smash is beyond deserving of its aggregate #2 ranking in all of Houston by Houstonians. The only establishment ahead of it is burger-chan, and I also agree as I have burger-chan as my #1 in Houston as well.

    I mentioned this during my unenthusiastic review of NYC’s Nowon, and the sentiment only continues to calcify as I continue to enjoy excellent local burger after excellent local burger: Houston is absolutely throttling my hometown in beef delivery transcendence. Now if only someone would revive The Rancor.

    5 out of 5 patties 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔

  • One Mean burger

    One Mean burger

    Friday, March 8, 2024 — When they place it on a tee for you…

    I love truth in advertising. The very first phrase you see on the home page of Humble’s Mean Burger is “That’s one Mean Burger!!” and they are not kidding around.

    Mean Burger is located about 10 minutes northeast of IAH, and only hit my radar this past week. I knew I had to be up at the airport to complete the Global Entry process (which is more of a hassle than it should be), and so naturally I researched potential hamburger spots in the area.

    Mean Burger has a 4.8 on both Yelp and Google — making it the 2nd-highest-rated burger joint in the entire greater Houston area! (after JLB Eatery) — and I am ecstatic to say that it absolutely lived up to that reputation.

    Located in an unassuming strip center, Mean Burger’s interior is no-frills — which is basically the description of every legendary Houston burger place — and all chowing down.

    I ordered the Mean Bleu Cheese Burger with two extremely generously sized patties (because of course), which came with bacon and blue cheese, and I added pickle, raw onion, pickled jalapeños, grilled jalapeños, grilled mushrooms, and thousand island dressing.

    If you’ve read my reviews previously, you know that I (a) much prefer huge patties to smashburgers; (b) am wild about bleu cheese and bacon as burger toppings; and (c) always want to customize my sandwiches. I also deeply appreciate a place that gives you a starting point — in this case, the Mean Bleu — and then lets you go even further with additions.

    As for the burger itself, look at that thing! A massive double stack piled to the sky with add-ons and a bun that can barely contain the proceedings. The beef was cooked wonderfully—I could’ve gone for a hint rawer, but the options were Medium, Medium Well, and Well Done, and even at a slightly lengthier cook the meat had enough juice—and lightly seasoned. Not sure what their blend is, but when your base patty is this bursting with flavor, no need to go overboard on salt.

    The blue cheese was on point and bacon crispy, and the toppings were excessively generous. Not to slight Hippo, which I also enjoyed, but this is closer to what I was hoping for when I tried Hippo’s Blue burger a few weeks ago.

    All in all, Mean checked just about every box I can think of for supreme burger satisfaction, and is most worthy of its ranking as #2 burger place in greater Houston!

    I still can’t quite believe an aggregate 4.8 burger spot has existed in Houston without my knowing about it prior to this past week. Granted, Humble isn’t technically Houston, but definitely counts as greater Houston. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — Houstonians are beyond spoiled when it comes to options for utterly outrageously delicious meat piles. Now if only we could say the same about the local Hazy IPA scene, which of course isn’t entirely bereft of world-class options, but these days finding Houston breweries interested in pushing the envelope on saturation is largely an effort in futility. But that’s a conversation for another time :)

    For today, let’s celebrate yet another outstanding burger option in Greater Houston — in fact, I’m fairly certain Mean Burger will crack my Top 5 (though it’s starting to get crowded in there!). 5 out of 5 patties! 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔 🍔